You all make a lot of sense and I honestly believe my depression is self induced. I stay in my head quite often and am straying further and further from society. I can't say that it's a bad thing, as the people I encounter seem shady. It could very well be my environment or the fact that nothing is wrong, so I MAKE there be something wrong. Either way, something has gone haywire, so to say. Everything that is happening now is a direct effect of what I have done in the past. Lost opportunities and broken dreams are always with me, and tomorrow seems dark. I don't smoke as much as I used to. That may be the issue, or it can be why I never saw the problems before. I don't want to give up on my best friend, and I won't, but could the smoke really be to blame? It is possible I'm losing my mind...