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Thread: bad ass poems

  1. #1
    bigverybig is offline Registered
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    bad ass poems

    i went up the mountain all covered in mud
    i saw my poor teacher all covered in blood
    a axe in the stomach an knift though her head
    i couldnt believe my poor techer was dead
    i went to her funeral i went to her grave
    some people threw flowers and i shot a grenade
    and jus to be sure she was dead
    i took a bazooka and blew off her
    god damn head


    the end.
    p.s. i was 10 years old when i wrote this. i got suspended from school for a week

  2. #2
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    ...More...Weed...Less..."bad ass poems."

  3. #3
    tokinsmoke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigverybig
    i went up the mountain all covered in mud
    i saw my poor teacher all covered in blood
    a axe in the stomach an knift though her head
    i couldnt believe my poor techer was dead
    i went to her funeral i went to her grave
    some people threw flowers and i shot a grenade
    and jus to be sure she was dead
    i took a bazooka and blew off her
    god damn head


    the end.
    p.s. i was 10 years old when i wrote this. i got suspended from school for a week
    thats a old poem...
    i heard that when i was 2......
    c'mon....dont lie u didnt make that up

    lol

    peace
    sex, drugs, rock & roll
    speed, weed, birth control
    lifes a bitch and the ya die
    fuck the world and lets get high

  4. #4
    Looker's Avatar
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    Some come here to sit and think...

    Some come here to shit and stink...

    I come here to rub my balls...

    And read the bullshit on the walls.....
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails bad ass poems-554359122.jpg  

  5. #5
    Looker's Avatar
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    WOW

    Wow I really got a bathroom motif goin on with that huh???

    Stall toilet....bathroom poem...head in toilet plunger avatar and everything..

  6. #6
    Tha's Avatar
    Tha
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    Quote Originally Posted by Etrain
    ...More...Weed...Less..."bad ass poems."

    Yes...please...

  7. #7
    robert42's Avatar
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    last nite i shit my self,
    the brown stain
    and the ring sting pain
    not forgettin the lump of brown
    the made me mad and made me frown
    so i picked it up
    put it in a cup
    and downed that shit to the suds
    Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal?
    It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt.
    Do you know what's not natural?
    80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural.
    But we got pills for that.
    We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect,
    but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?


    GONE but hopefully not forgotton

  8. #8
    bigverybig is offline Registered
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    Quote Originally Posted by tokinsmoke
    thats a old poem...
    i heard that when i was 2......
    c'mon....dont lie u didnt make that up

    lol

    peace
    are you crazy i wrote this with a girl in grade 3 and the teacher was a bitch she told us to team up with a partner and and write a poem so me and the girl wrote it and after we got suspended ok

    ps i am 25 years old so you must be 13 or less

  9. #9
    Shaolin's Avatar
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    Someone didn't smoke enough as a child..

  10. #10
    thatone420kid is offline Registered+
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    yea dude i heard a similar version of the theacher must die poems, im almost positive ive heard that one before...its not very nice to lie...

  11. #11
    tokinsmoke's Avatar
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    im 20 thank u......
    ive heard that before so shut the hell up.....

    damn

    peace
    sex, drugs, rock & roll
    speed, weed, birth control
    lifes a bitch and the ya die
    fuck the world and lets get high

  12. #12
    bigverybig is offline Registered
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    you must be smoking plastic or crazy glue its not good for you.
    do you hear thing in your head too
    good luck and yes i did write it ok

    ps smoke the good weed ok

  13. #13
    ermitonto's Avatar
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    One time in middle school I had to write a poem and I did mine on the creation and development of the universe, but I hated doing the project so if you read the first letter of every other line backwards it read "MRS MEHRMAN SUCKS". Well, a couple days later Mrs. Mehrman wanted to talk to me about my poem. I was afraid she found my hidden message but instead she asked me "Did you really write this poem?", so I said yes and then she asked me what it was about and I explained it to her and she just said "OK" and sent me on my way. It was probably because I actually applied a meter and rhyme scheme to my poem unlike everybody else.

  14. #14
    Dick Justice's Avatar
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    I had a poetry assignment once, and I wrote about how books are like trees because they're made of dead trees. Inspired, I know.
    [I owe money to Edgar!]

  15. #15
    tokinsmoke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigverybig
    you must be smoking plastic or crazy glue its not good for you.
    do you hear thing in your head too
    good luck and yes i did write it ok

    ps smoke the good weed ok
    ok ok u win........geez
    but i know ive heard that before.....
    whatever u say ya know......
    im sure others agree with me......

    and i would smoke the good shit but
    im pregnant so....

    peace
    sex, drugs, rock & roll
    speed, weed, birth control
    lifes a bitch and the ya die
    fuck the world and lets get high

  16. #16
    Dick Justice's Avatar
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    Yeah, I've definitely heard that one, too. That ranks somewhere around the old "jingle bells, batman smells, robin laid an egg" ditty.
    [I owe money to Edgar!]

  17. #17
    ermitonto's Avatar
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    Perhaps you're thinking of a song Nelson Muntz sang on the Simpsons:
    Joy to the world, the teacher's dead.
    We barbequed her head.
    What happened to her body?
    We flushed it down the potty.
    And 'round and 'round it goes.
    And 'round and 'round it goes...

  18. #18
    Dick Justice's Avatar
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    Heh, I remember that one too. But I definitely remember that first poem. Sung to the tune of "On Top of Old Smokey." I almost remember the other verses, actually.

    How pathetic. I've retained more knowledge from third grade than freshman year.
    [I owe money to Edgar!]

  19. #19
    bigdaddy420's Avatar
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    I thought of a poem while reading this thread. You guys have probably hear it but here goes.

    Mary had a little lamb
    And she tied it to a heater
    Everytime it turned around
    It burned it's little................foot.
    Weed: Check
    Place to smoke it: Check
    Something to smoke it in: Check
    Something to light it with: .....umm.... wait... I know I have a lighter....well shit.

  20. #20
    Dick Justice's Avatar
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    There once was a man from Nantucket
    He told his dear wife to come give him a back rub.
    [I owe money to Edgar!]

  21. #21
    thatone420kid is offline Registered+
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    There once was a man from nantucket
    his dick was so long he could suck it
    he said with a grin as he wiped off his chin,
    if my mouth was a pussy id fuck it.

    There once was a man from Kenass,
    his balls were made out of brass,
    for in stormy weather, hed clap them together,
    and lighting shot out of his ass.


    wow the good old childhood days...

  22. #22
    ermitonto's Avatar
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    There once was a girl from Regina,
    Who had an infected vagina,
    'Twas the cause of her death,
    So she used her last breath,
    To say "Somebody get me a gyne--!"

    (Wrote that one meself )

  23. #23
    thatone420kid is offline Registered+
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    pretty wonderful, thats one i havent heard of before

  24. #24
    az666's Avatar
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    The laughing lovers of the pretender
    The thin bones in flesh,
    Missing by the savagely jolly day
    For spoke tides blaze
    With no more eyes than the fishwife
    A man should be judged by the quality of his work.....not the quality of his piss.

  25. #25
    NowhereMan is offline Registered+
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    quicky poem for the masses


    georgy porgie can eat texas cowpies
    he dont get head he says he dont tell lies
    used our cash to biuld a new aged ark
    gonna fly it to mars and then slap it in park

    'can ya hear me huston'
    is this signal clear
    it was a great flight
    untill the capt'n turned out queer
    we had to slow down
    just to throw his ass out
    tell the brains in the lab
    now they aint no doubt
    you cant open the hatch
    at half the speed of light
    and tell the guys in the labs
    it was a hell of sight
    when loverboy
    went out the door
    in a blink of the eye
    he just was no more
    we luaghed like stoners
    smoking some killer grass
    when he sucked himself
    up his own sorry ass
    you can call him
    a casualty
    say it was space dust
    or low gravity
    he was a brutally mean
    cold hearted nut
    he tied up
    two of the crew
    one he screwed
    in the butt
    but dont tell
    america that
    fill a lie full
    of goverment fat
    say the bastard
    saved every life
    cuase we all
    feel sorrow for
    by his kid
    and his wife
    we will be home
    in a few years
    we all miss
    hamburgers and beers
    so plan on a party
    you know what
    we all surely need
    go tell george fucking bush
    to legalize weed

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