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Thread: SUBSTITUTION: tips, tricks and guidelines

  1. #1
    IamN2pot's Avatar
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    SUBSTITUTION: tips, tricks and guidelines

    SUBSTITUTION: Tips, tricks and guidelines by N2

    Invest a few bucks in a human digital thermometer. They are fast and accurate. I cannot over emphasize the importance of PRACTICE, PRACTICE, and PRACTICE!!! If you use condoms, be sure you use NON-lubricated condoms and rinse the condom to remove the powder from it. You can also use a well rinsed, 2 oz shampoo bottle (travel size). Now that you have your digital thermo and condoms/shampoo bottle, start practicing by filling your chosen container with 105 degree water. If using a condom, fold the loaded condom over the tip of the digital thermo to take its temp. If using a plastic bottle, place the tip of the thermometer directly into the water. Place the bottle/condom in your crotch. (Two pair of tighty whity’s holds it in place better and adds extra insulation to maintain the temp) In my experience, I find the water/pee container crotched inside your briefs, cools at a rate of about 1 degree every 2-3 minutes until it stabilizes at about 94-98 degrees. DO NOT plan on using toilet/bathroom water to cool it down. Most testing joints color their toilet water blue to foil using it, and if they hear you turn on the sink water or flush the john before you give them your sample, they may require you to re-submit or fail you. If your sample is to warm when you get it in the cup, simply swish it around in the cup while you blow on it. You can cool it at a rate of about 1 degree every 30 seconds, but don't over do it. PRACTICE! You can't re-warm it at that point. In the reverse, I find I can warm a substitute urine product from my pocket temp of 85-88 to 96-98 in about 20 minutes with body heat by crotching the container. The test cup temp strip is attached to the cup just like they are stuck to the side of a fish aquarium. The temp strip will read from 90-100 (some non-DOT require 94-100) so you can see your pee temp and cool it if necessary before you give it to the collector. One more tip. If you are using a condom, I don't tie the end of the condom. It is too risky in my humble opinion (IMHO) to try to puncture it to get your pee out. I take the condom with my 2+ ounces of pee in it and give it a spin, like you would a bread bag. Then double it over itself and use a wire tie (trash bag/bread bag type tie) with the ends rolled over them selves (to prevent puncture) and twist it tight to close the condom. To empty your condom, simply untwist the wire tie and let the condom untwist. Then place the open end of the condom in the cup and empty it. Check the temp on the side of the cup, and give it to the collector. Once again let me say PRACTICE. Practice carrying it in your crotch, practice emptying it into the cup, etc, just practice.

    Men: IMHO the best place/way to crotch and carry the 2oz shampoo bottle/condom is to place it between your scrotum and anus. If you have any question as to where this spot is, stand up with your feet shoulder width apart. Reach down with your hand and cup your testicals. Note where your bird and ring fingers are touching. That is where you want to carry the bottle. It this position I find you can carry on about your activities normally while maintaining a 94-95 degree sample temp. To raise the sample temp to 97-98, simply sit down and cross you legs so that the container is enclosed between your thighs. It about 10-15 minutes the sample will warm to body temp, 97-98.

    Women: You can of course carry a substitute sample the same as the men, but post by females write that it is also easy to carry the bottle inside your vaginal cavity, where it will maintain a 98 degree sample temp or you can use two 1oz bottles and place one under each breast, held in place with a well padded bra for added insulation in maintaining the temp.

    Please remember that these suggestions are just guidelines and may need to be slightly modified to suit your particular need and comfort. The key to successfully substituting is to PRACTICE.

  2. #2
    IamN2pot's Avatar
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    I forgot to attach a picture of 3 travel size shampoo bottles. N2
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails SUBSTITUTION: tips, tricks and guidelines-2oz-bottles.jpg  

  3. #3
    peji's Avatar
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    Thanks for the info N2.
    ~*~Peace n Smokin~*~

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    IamN2pot's Avatar
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    I need to add that for human urine, the sample should be used within 8 hours at room/body temp. If you need to store it longer, it can be kept frozen in an air tight container for up to 1 year. To thaw and warm, use warm water. N2

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    KillerJupe is offline Registered
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    why... what happens if it isn't used within 8hours? will it oxidize?? what if its air tight??

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    mark peralez is offline Registered
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    thnx for the tips n2pot.well said my friend.this will help keep the pot smoking brotherhood (and sisterhood),alive and out of harms way to ensure longetivity of the movement.long live the doobie brothers..............

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    IamN2pot's Avatar
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    Killer, you ask a question that I still have no scientific answer for. I do know from my own experments that after 8 hours the smell is RANK!, and at 24-48 hours stuff will start to grow on top of the sample. As for an air tight container, all I can say is if you keep meat or mayo at room temp for 8 hours, reguardless of the type container, you risk serious food poisening. I would guess that after 8 hours that the bacteria level in the urine may effect the pH and creatinine levels. So I simply repeate what folk in the urine selling business tell me. But please, feel free to call a few urine vendors yourself, ask them and report back to the board. N2

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    potwoman is offline Registered
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    Thumbs up Substitution Success

    N2, you rock. I read and re-read your tips and guidelines, most of all the part about PRACTICE! Also found great containers and plastic funnels at The Container Store. I practiced walking with that little bottle in my panties, yes, just 'crotched' it, did not insert the bottle into vaginal cavity, and maintained temp at 94. Though I did not see any evidence of temperature testing at the lab. Practiced pouring the substitute into the cup without fumbling and all went well. I started my new job yesterday, and was able to enjoy my last days of freedom flying high! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

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    19grandjoint is offline Registered
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    Hello,

    I was browsing through this message board because
    like so many others, I have a drug SCREEN coming up
    and I am afraid of failing. I want to commmend you
    for giving such good and what seems to be heartfelt
    advise. I know that all you can possibly do is advise
    me on how to pass this test but I just have a few
    questions for you that I sincerely hope you can help
    with.

    But first let me explain my situation.

    To be frank with you, i almost never smoke marijuana.
    I smoked abt a thumbnail of weed late night on the
    twentieth of may. This was the first time ive smoked
    in abt 4 months and before that i cant even remember.
    Let's put it this way. I smoked twice in 2.5 years!
    The last time was on may 20th and i would say it was a
    mediocre high. i took abt 2.5 full deep pulls of the
    joint and 5 or 6 light ones.

    I am overweight but def not obese..i started reading
    up on ways to pass the test...many ppl ive spoken
    too feel that i am too infrequent of a user for it to
    be detected...whats your opinion. There are AT LEAST
    10 days between the day i smoked and the day im
    planned to take test. ( it could be more days) WHat do
    u think are my chances of passing.

    I plan to drink abt 8 glasses of water the morning of
    the test, eat a lot of red meat to make sure my
    creatinine levels remain in range and take a vitamin b
    complex to make sure pee is on the yellow side. do u
    think those are enough precautions...i realy feel that
    i am too nervous for substituting.

    SO BASICALLY:

    1. do u think im doing enough? (drink water morn of,
    vit b for color and red meat for creatinine.)
    -

    2. Is there a difference between a drug SCREEN and
    drug test? ex. drawing blood instead of getting urine,
    etc. im getting drug screen. they instructed me to
    clal the health dpet of my frim and tell them i need
    to locate a lab to do drug testing. What do uyou know
    abt drug screens?

    3. i hear that working out strenuously and making sure
    to flush out your system is the best (and some say
    only) way to rid urself of metabolites. is it wise
    for me to start exercising so close to test time being
    that speeding my metabolism so close to test might
    make metabolites more detectable.

    please help! what are my chances in your opinion????
    THANK YOU SO MUCH

  10. #10
    IamN2pot's Avatar
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    Just bumping this back to the current page on the board.
    Hope it helps.
    :!)
    N2

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    iamsoscared is offline Registered
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    Will this method work? HELP!!!

    I have a pre-employment urine screen on Monday (tomorrow) and I do not know what time I have to go, they are just going to call me and let me know when so it could be several hours.

    My plan is to collect my daughts clean urine and put it in a condom, place a hand warmer on my undies, and wear it till I get the call which could be several hours. I have been practicing this method and with a digital therm I get a reading of 94 - 97 and seems to cool quickly. With the forehead type therm I get a reading of 100. what is the deal with that? I am so nervouse about temp already. What should I do, put it in hot water till I get to the facility then "crotch it" (externally). Then cool it off it is too warm? Does the temp strip on the canister stay at the first temp it registers or does it register temp as it cools? Leaving it in the fridge is not an option, I will be at my current job and can not get home before the test. What to do, What to do?
    So I have thought of vaginally carrying a 2 oz bottle, but how long could I keep that inserted considering that I have a few hours before the test. Would it maintain the exact temperature without having to warm it at all? or should I keep it warm someother way until I get close to the facility then insert it, how long will it take to become body temp? Please help me, I am so desperate. Thank you

  12. #12
    IamN2pot's Avatar
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    Pre warn the sample either before leaving or on the way. A cup of hot water or coffee is a good heat source. Once inside you. the temsp will maintain about 96-97 degrees. You need to practice with your 2oz container and water!!!
    but PRACTICE!!!
    :!)
    N2
    Last edited by Burnt Toast; Jul-29-2012 at 20:31. Reason: removed dead link

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    gdubstone is offline Registered
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    diluted first, had to retest. Got some synthetic urine at a "record store" not diluted, it was ready out of the bottle. It had a temp strip on it, but I used a digital baby thermometer anyway, which was MUCH more accurate. If you're gonna spend $40 on fake pee, spend a few $ on this. I used a small coffee to heat up the bottle to 100, transferred to the washed trojan red, let it cool a bit to 98 degrees (I practiced all this part about 10 times with plain water the night before) twisted up, folded and twited end with a twist-tie and kept it jocked between scrotum and anus. It was not bad at all, and I felt very confident since I had practiced.

    It all went smooth, and this one came back a PASS and I got my job. A little reading, and about $50 worth of supplies helped me get a $15,000 pay raise.

    Thanks N2, you are the man. We toasted you with some smoke last night!

  14. #14
    Killa.Kali's Avatar
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    Rum Extract and water at a 1:3 ratio in a little nasal spray bottle, tucked one between my nuts for years god it sucked to walk around school lol
    The only real drug problem is scoring real good drugs
    Haven't we learned our lesson?
    The corner store sells finer scotch
    But who's got uncut powder?
    We just want what is ours
    If God created plants, and plants that I find and abuse
    Then who the fuck are you to judge me?



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    sneakAtoke is offline Registered
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    i did this monday but i made 1 mistake, i used a lubricated rubber and
    didnt rince it out, so what will likely happen to the test? was DOT test

  16. #16
    Burnt Toast is offline Moderator
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    *BUMP*

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    MaryJane25 is offline Registered
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    Have a backup plan!!!!!!

    My fiance had a drug test today. He drank ZyDot (hopefully it works, but it keeps you in the bathroom for sure, not to pee...) anyway, I got a sample from my younger brother and we put it in a rubber, then all was going well until he was in the bathroom at the clinic... He got to go in there unsupervised which was our dream come true until he punctured the rubber with a toothpick (toothpick, my idea, some places have a metal detector wand, and I am paranoid) well, not sure what happened but maybe he squeezed too hard and it busted!!!!!!!!!!! He had to pee on his own and clean the mess up in a hurry!! Still hoping for good results, worried about the creatine level though, we read here that it could be significantly lowered on the ZyDot drink (almost ALL of the drinks). Watch your grip fellas, or you'll bust your rubber!!!!!!!LOL Oh yeah, wish him luck, we'll know in about 2-3 days about the outcome.

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    MaryJane25 is offline Registered
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    Me again!! He failed the drug test.... We have noticed that the best thing to do to pass is not to smoke. Nothing is 100%, except that whole thing with the tubing and the shut off valve looks like it would work, but I'm sure even those have failed also... Damn, this is depressing ... I just don't understand why it's not just legalized!!! I really feel the pee test is very Nosey, the saliva test is only from the last week or two isn't it? I think that would make more sense. It's not fair that if you smoke on your own time you can't get keep (or get) a good job. It doesn't mean you go to work High!!! That is so unfair, not that the law will change just cause "I" think it should, it just sucks. We followed the ZyDot instructions and it didn't pull thru, N2 has the BEST way, with a substitute in a rubber. DON'T USE ZYDOT unless you really don't give a shit what your results are!!!

  19. #19
    crf250smoker's Avatar
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    does it matter if ur a guy and use a girls piss for a test?

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    Burnt Toast is offline Moderator
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    Nope. Gender is irrelevant when analyzing for drugs. Any human sample can be used as long as the person is drug-free and not overhydrated.

  21. #21
    crf250smoker's Avatar
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    thanks, that just makes it allot easyer for me to get clean urin

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    bongomania is offline Banned
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    pregnancy matters

    the hypothetical has a possibility of happening that a dude has a chick give him urine so he can hide it and use it for his UA. They could find out that she's pregnant when she didn't kow it herself. And why all the discussion about the best way to cheat a drug test. Read Passing Drug Tests by Kenn A Biscranium and find out how to rapidly and healthfully detox for any random UA. It was written by a guy who smoked weed constantly while on parole and what he did to pass ALL of his random UA's It was cowritten with a doctor of chemistry; it is absolutely accurate and very informative. And the Boulder Weekly said the book is "hilarious". Read it and pass all your drug tests from now on.

  23. #23
    Burnt Toast is offline Moderator
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    Pregnancy is NOT tested.

    the hypothetical has a possibility of happening that a dude has a chick give him urine so he can hide it and use it for his UA. They could find out that she's pregnant when she didn't kow it herself.
    Pure ancient wives tale that goes back to the birth of workplace drug testing. It was often recited by goofy-looking antidrug "speakers" in an effort to discourage cheating the drug tests. I find it hilarious that theres many of the unwashed who still fall for this piece of propagandical BS.

    The thing is drug testing devices have no ability to determine pregnancy. They only determine the presence of drugs. The lab would have to use a testing device designed specifically to determine pregnancy. Pregnancy tests are totally outside the scope of drug testing, so therefore, labs operating in the US are prohibited by law to perform pregnancy tests on a urine sample collected for a drug test. Pregnancy tests can only be performed under a detailed written authorization by the donor.

    And why all the discussion about the best way to cheat a drug test. Read Passing Drug Tests by Kenn A Biscranium and find out how to rapidly and healthfully detox for any random UA.
    Why spend money on a book on passing drug tests when all of the information is found online for free?

    The time spent on hawking books could be better utilized on researching how drug tests work and how testing devices work. This information can be found online by making some good use of your favorite search engine (its your freind).

    And its all free
    Last edited by Burnt Toast; Nov-26-2006 at 19:09.
    nene likes this.

  24. #24
    bongomania is offline Banned
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    you're absolutely correct that a drug test will not determine pregnancy, but they could check the urine with a pregnancy test. and guess what? they can and do do that if they want to. And you said don't buy a book because all the information is free? Not all this info is valid. Nor or all the answers someone is looking for here. It amazes me how many people think if they read something online it's absolute truth. HA! Burnt toast stop acting like you're a genius and know everything because you don't.

  25. #25
    bongomania is offline Banned
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    I was trying to make the point that it is not smart to rely on cheating a drug test (which is a felony in some states) when anyone can learn how to rapidly detox very safely by reading a book Passing Drug Tests. But burnttoast thinks all books are a waste of money becasue the internet is LOADED with information on how to rapidly and healthfully detox the body for a random UA... Oh no wait a minute, there is almost nothing to be found about how to use bentonite, cayenne, milk thistle, burdock root, and many other facts that is HILARIOUS to read! Yo burtntoast your parents are absolute failures at raising decent human beings.

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