So I have an employment drug screening coming up on Monday (3 days away). I have been a daily smoker (at least 1g of the funk) for 5 years without a break.

That niacin thread was too confusing for me. Nobody could agree as to whether or not it works. I am screwed either way I'm pretty sure. What are some good ways to start cleansing?

My plan thus far is get a bunch of cranberry juice, green tea, & water and go to town on that for the next 3 days. But I also plan on buying a home drug test for the day of the screening to make sure I'll pass.

My buddy is also bringing over a drink but I'm not sure if it's a masking agent or if it really clears your system out for good. Does anybody know of a proven brand? I really was not prepared to stop smoking, this is going to suck...

carry a packet hand warmer, normally purchased for a dollar a walgreen's pharmacy. heat a little bag of dog piss with the pocket warmer a minute before you fill the tester's specimine bottle

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trade in your pipes, then vape in tha morning

LOL i think they are going to be able to tell the difference between dog piss and human piss lol...

dude when i was on probation what I did was drink like a cup of cranberry juice the day of the test in the morning, about 8 cups of water and a B vitamin. Then I continously drank at least 4 cups an hour up until my test. The B vitamin keeps your urine yellow and the water and constant pissing keeps flushing out your body so that the urine has no time to sit in you to accumulate toxins (or high concentrations of them)

Thanks. Yea I just got this Sonnie's no.7 Detoxificant from Trader Joe's (I think). Lets hope that works. Here is what I read about it on Wikianswers (Don't know if its trustworthy):

Sonnes #7 has worked for me and many other hardcore heads but, it's still a scary gamble. Abstinance is best ;-)

If it's too late for that here is what I have done for the past 20 years:

If you know a urinalysis is coming and you have time just go to urineluck.com it is WAY better than Sonnes. These people stay ahead of the testing labs and will even upgrade older versions if you have them.

Back to the Sonnes idea (which is what I use most) A few days before the test you should be eating/drinking mass amounts. This will flush you and keep you from burning a lot of new fat at the same time. I usually do a 30-pak of cheap beer (Beast!) and eat lots of pasta for a few days and then take a few spoons of Sonnes the night before and the morning of the test.

If you know about the test within 4 days or longer start exercising like mad. I do 4-8 mile walks and drink lots of fluids, especially water, coffee, and beer. Then when the last few days draw near I shift into sloth mode to stop the fat burning.

Drinking liquids in the days before the test does nothing to rid yourself of more thc.

Most of us here do not have any respect for the detox potions, they are a rip-off. Nothing will magically mask your thc use, no matter how many guarantees they give.

If I was you, I would sub. Read the substitution sticky.

Best of luck.

Sonne's I believe uses bentonite or something similar to it which is almost like clay powder. About all it will do is make a slurry that will move through your stomach and intestines and pick up a few things along the way. It never gets absorbed into your bloodstream and unfortunately you don't store THC metabolites in your stomach and small intestine. Laxatives can help a little bit at first if you're not regular but there are better laxatives and cheaper and better tasting that Sonne's.

I like soluble fiber.

Since it's employment testing try to sub.

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Serenity now, Insanity later...

Get a home drug test if you want to know for sure if you can pass a drug test. Drinking lots of water for days and days before the test will not help you get clean quicker. All that water will not make your kidneys work better.

I wanna know how one goes about collecting piss from there dog? My dog Brinks would look at me like I lost my frickin mind and Charlie he would just laugh at me. I would use a clean urine sample warmed with a heat element. Good luck hope you get the job. Peace

More than a decade ago when validity checks (creatinine, SG, pH) were not in place, you could use anything from heated Mountain Dew, to dog pee in order to pass the U/A. But that was then. The rules of the ballgame had changed since then.

Canines have a normal creatinine level of 1.0 - 2.0 mg/dL. A reading of this kind would cause the sample to be ruled "non-human", when a validity check is performed on the sample. Creatinine levels must be over 20 mg to be satisfactory.

One thing that I have known people to pass doing are drinking shots of vinegar(diaretic) and chasing it with a monster energy drink(B vitamins, Niacin? and other good minerals)

Something that has not been mentioned is excercise. This is definitely an under rated part of cleansing. You can actually sweat out the THC. I would drink/pee a lot and hit up the gym daily.

good luck man

BigLeague,

What in the blue hell are you talking about? Have you not read anything in the drug testing forum before you posted that crap about vinegar? Also, if you bothered to read some random threads in this forum you will see the regulars giving advice on how to use exercise and diet to help maximize your body's ability to eliminate THC metabolites. You come in going on about how under rated it is and how the sweating is important. It's burning of calories through aerobic activity that is important not how much you sweat. Sweating eliminates very little THC.

You're really going to tell me you know people, not just one person but people, who have passed by using vinegar? Yeah I'm sure vinegar and energy drinks. Vinegar isn't a diuretic either. Niacin worthless. Good minerals, how much iron and calcium are in an energy drink. Not much there skipper. Come on dude. Think before your next post in the drug testing section, this isn't the place for bad information that has been given before even.

I forgot to address how Budz4Buddy's advice was horrible too both in how are you going to get the dog urine or how you could fail for using a non-human sample.

__________________
Serenity now, Insanity later...

Get a home drug test if you want to know for sure if you can pass a drug test. Drinking lots of water for days and days before the test will not help you get clean quicker. All that water will not make your kidneys work better.

I honestly thought vinegar worked. Maybe not a diuretic but it does make you piss a lot. I agree the dog piss is a dumb idea. I had not seen the others posts about exercise but I guess I have to rephrase that to I agree with the others posts about exercise and it is very important.

I've been biting my tongue for 2 days with this guy and his dog piss out of respect for the importance of this forum. I'm amazed that people could come in this section and make jokes or give stupid advice. I chalked it up too they're either young and dumb or never had they're whole life destroyed with a failed drug test. I knew you'd come along to set the record straight FBR...

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Thanks Fakeboobs. Today is the day. Substitution it is. Plus, I didnt really feel like quitting and flushing my system out if I was not going to pass anyway. I am going to get a bottle of piss from my buddy on my way to the HR department to fill out paperwork and get the directions to the lab (I would assume they aren't testing me at my place of business). If too much time has passed i will go get my buddy to piss in the bottle again - I have a foot warmer thing, but I'm not trying to take too many risks.

As far as concealing it goes, I bought an elmer's glue bottle that I've rinsed out thoroughly and I am going to buy a pair of tighty whities or boxer briefs. I will let you know what happens.