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Thread: AWESOME GUIDE FOR PASSING PROBATION DRUG TEST!!!!

  1. #1
    letsfightfelipe is offline Registered
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    Exclamation AWESOME GUIDE FOR PASSING PROBATION DRUG TEST!!!!

    Ok so first off let start by saying that im on house arrest. I take a drug test every 2 weeks. I have a gc/ms of 15ng/l -50ng/l. and let me tell you.I am one high motherfucker

    Now everyone is different in cases of BMI(body mass index), Metabolism, hieght, weight, age, the green you toke and how much. Now my fullproof First off if if you are on probation you get tested frequently. So start of by not stopping but choosing the right times to smoke. Remember the longer you abstain the better your chances are. After you have just recieved a test that day n passed go ahead toke up. THAT DAY ONLY! unless you only get tested once a month then you have a good week to 2 window. beveut if its every week or 2 you only want to do it the day of your test(after of course), and the next. otherwise you will screw yourself over.
    now remember if you want to smoke while on probation this is a guide of life so you can and not goto jail.

    Next is you need to make sure you keep a fairly good metabolism. You do this by excersizing, Eating balanced foods, proper sleep(7 hrs a night+ no more than 9), and taking Bvitamins( they give your body more of a natural workout because the vitamins are what helps your body create the energy it needs to run.). Run 1-2 miles a day every day. Sounds crazy but you walk around 3-4 miles a day naturally so why not?

    Must have creatinin levels or will show you DILUTED AND WILL FAIL!
    Smaller people are harder to create creatinine naturally. So lets say you are 5,8 and 135 you have to work harder to keep your creatinine levels higher than lets say a 5,8 160lb person.

    So what raises your creatinine levels?
    Red meats(perferably steaks but you can get hamburgers from mcdonalds n trust me its a cheap effective way maybe 2-3 a day if your a poor person., Fish(perferably salmon), and dun dun dun creatine supplements. So steaks and salmon are expensive but burgers aren't and niether are the supplements.

    What type of creatine should I get? So you all know if you walk into a vitamin store asking for creatine hey will ask what kind? so here's your more popular choices.
    1.Creatine monohydrate
    2.Creatine ester phosphate
    3.Creatine ethyl Ester
    4.Creatine-alpha ketoglutarate.
    So which one to get?
    Any or all. You can purchase them individually or get a drink mix that has them all(PREFERRED!!!)
    Creatine takes 1-4 days to metabolize into Creatinine So its better to have it on a daily basis than just a few days before your test.

    Next you need to make sure your Specific Gravity is in good range. This is fairly easy by taking daily vitamins and drinking sports drinks(gatorade, powerade, wal mart brand, ect ect. There are other ways but this is very effective. drink 48-64 ounces a day.

    Making sure your PH levels are right.
    CRANBERRY JUICE! works great also high meat diets and grapeseed extract from GNC helps too! now you can buy the cranberry pills which is a helps your urinary clean itself out too. take twice the dosage a day.

    Now niacin. I know alot of people say it doesnt help but listen to this.
    It dialates blood vessels not alot but some to help carry toxins out of the body. it also brings toxins through skin (REMEMBER THOUGH THCA IS NOT CONSIDERED A TOXIN) But it does help the process now taking 250mg a day will be efficient anything other than that causes health problems and a sunburned looking person.

    Now that is everyday life.

    To get ready for the test is next.

    3 days before your test double your intake of creatinine producing subtances. Also high fiber diet works too(metamucil is best)
    Now after must research and talking to the producers of pecto The average box contains 40-60 gms of fiber.That why the day of the test people use it but you DONT HAVE TOO. It secretes the toxins to your shit morely than your piss and actuallys allows your body a time frame not to re absorb it.in you intestines.
    the day before your test don't work out!!! BE VERY LAZY! this will stop your body from burning off the THC metabolites as fast. which means less in your piss.
    Now the night before your test don't shake don't worry you've done great. double the dose of your B vitamins and niacin.(remember your creatine should have also been doubled 2-3 days prior.
    Day of your test you want to wake up and drink some gatorade(around 24 ounces) take 2 pisses. First piss of the day has the most THCA in it which means DONT LET THAT BE YOUR TESTER. Wake up early too way earlier than you normally do. say you wake up at 8 normally wake up at 6 give your body time for this to come into effect.

    NEXT part is IamN2pot dillution method but with a twist.

    The night before take 2 aspirin to sleep.
    When you wake up take 2 more and 4 hours before your test take 4 more.

    Next take double dosage of your Bcomplex vitamins.not timed relase buy the instant release(makes your piss yellow instead of clear)

    Now every hour after youve woken up drink anywhere from 20-30 ounces of gatorade. make sure in total you drank more than 60 ounces before your test. HINT THE LAST quart you drink put 2-3 tblspoons of salt in it.it will taste bad ut trust me it helps.
    PISS FREQUENTLY make sure you piss at least 4 times before your test this will help clean out your bladder.
    now go in and don't look nervous that usually throws up a flag.

    now here's another alternative Qcarbo32 at gnc drink the night before( if you have money) it helps somewhat but this is mainly dilution and keepin the right lifestyle so everytime you go you wont worry.

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  3. #2
    webdox is offline Registered+
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    Personally, I'd stop the drugs altogether when on probation, especially if you were lucky enough to stay out of jail for trafficking in the first place. Not at all trying to preach, I myself have had to practice that same advice more than once in my youth. It's not worth it. I don't have time to line item veto most of your guide. Perhaps someone else will tackle it... Good luck.

  4. #3
    FakeBoobsRule's Avatar
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    This guide stinks. It's full of of incorrect information and anyone who should decide to place their freedom at risk and use this guide to try to justify smoking marijuana on probation is just plain stupid. You really don't seem to understand how the human body works and that's being polite. Other things you don't seem to understand include niacin, sweating, pectin, certo, cranberry juice, and grapeseed extract. In fact, you took pectin and certo and made a new word, pecto.

    If you have common sense and understand that this guide is crap from a 19 year old who has been charged with multiple felonies that continues to risk everything by smoking then you probably don't have to read further. If you don't then here's more info for you.

    First of all, as I just mentioned, this poster was charged with several felonies and instead of thanking his stars that he is only doing 5 years of probation and home arrest instead of hard time in a prison he has made the choice to keep using marijuana despite drug testing every two weeks. Obviously this guy's choices aren't the best because you have to be a real genius to get charged with multiple felonies by the age of 19 yet continue to risk his freedom and replace it with prison rapings. Even though he is facing about 26 drug tests a year for 5 years he thinks it's a good idea to play this game and is trying to get others to follow this guide even though he has passed what 2 or 3 maybe 4 drug tests out of the possible 130 tests he might take. Here's his first post:

    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    So I'm 19 and live in clay county florida i was arrested for trafficking in xxxxxxxxxxx,(1st degree felony) sale and deliver of controlled subtance(xxxxxxxxx 2nd degree) and sell and delivery of marijuana(3rd degree felony. I'm probably gonna be on an extensive amount of house arrest and probation(as agreed by my lawyer and prosecuter) I want to smoke one more time before i have to stop for the next 5 years. but i need to know if i fail my first drug test on probation, will I be going back to jail? Should I just tell them up front I'll fail? Should i tell my PO im addicted to drugs? I haven't smoked in since new years and before that around xmas. any help i'll probably fail anyways but what should i really do?
    Your time would be better spent not risking rape and going crazy locked up in a Florida prison while everyone else is at the beach. I'm not even sure those are the corresponding felony levels to your crimes. A F1 in Florida is the most severe felony possible other than life felony followed by capital felony but that's neither here nor there. For the record though, from least severe felony to most severe felony here is the clasification in Florida: Felony third degree, second degree, first degree (30 year max sentence), life felony, capital felony.

    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    Ok so first off let start by saying that im on house arrest. I take a drug test every 2 weeks. I have a gc/ms of 15ng/l -50ng/l.
    That's wrong. It isn't 15 to 50 and it doesn't go straight to GC/MS.

    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    Now my fullproof First off if if you are on probation you get tested frequently.
    What????
    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    otherwise you will screw yourself over.
    now remember if you want to smoke while on probation this is a guide of life so you can and not goto jail.
    Like I said, this guide to life is written by a 19 year old whose choices have been so wise that he has found himself on probation for the next 5 years with some of that done under house arrest.

    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    Eating balanced foods, proper sleep(7 hrs a night+ no more than 9)
    What does sleep have to do with drug metabolite elimination?

    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    and taking Bvitamins( they give your body more of a natural workout because the vitamins are what helps your body create the energy it needs to run.).
    Yes you need vitamins but more isn't always better. Overloading on vitamins doesn't equal increased metabolism.

    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    Must have creatinin levels or will show you DILUTED AND WILL FAIL!
    Actually, you have to have more than just a creatinine level. It has to be 20 or greater.
    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    Smaller people are harder to create creatinine naturally. So lets say you are 5,8 and 135 you have to work harder to keep your creatinine levels higher than lets say a 5,8 160lb person.
    Based on your lack of knowledge of the human physiology and biology I am willing to bet you stole this from another poster, Nephroll to be exact. He has written a detailed post about creatine and creatinine clearance and how some determining factors include overall body mass as well as amount of muscle. You should be polite and cite your resources or simply give credit when credit is do.

    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    Making sure your PH levels are right.
    CRANBERRY JUICE! works great also high meat diets and grapeseed extract from GNC helps too! now you can buy the cranberry pills which is a helps your urinary clean itself out too. take twice the dosage a day.
    Wrong wrong wrong. PH isn't used to detect dilution but used to detect substitution and use of adulterants. If you are using pee coming straight out of your body with nothing added after urinating there's no need to worry about pH. Cranberry juice is an antiseptic for the urinary tract, not a cleaner or cleanser. There's a huge difference.

    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    Now niacin. I know alot of people say it doesnt help but listen to this.
    It dialates blood vessels not alot but some to help carry toxins out of the body. it also brings toxins through skin (REMEMBER THOUGH THCA IS NOT CONSIDERED A TOXIN) But it does help the process now taking 250mg a day will be efficient anything other than that causes health problems and a sunburned looking person.
    Wrong again and again and again. It doesn't help the process at all.


    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    3 days before your test double your intake of creatinine producing subtances. Also high fiber diet works too(metamucil is best)
    Again, I think you stole this but this time from me. Don't muddy my research on this subject by taking my information which is very accurate and then mixing a bunch of crap around it.
    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    Now after must research and talking to the producers of pecto
    Looks like you have lifted that straight out of my post from a sticky with the following exception:
    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    The average box contains 40-60 gms of fiber.
    When I called Kraft the didn't know exactly how much fiber was in a box of certo. I seriously doubt you called them and now they have an exact amount of fiber per box.

    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    It secretes the toxins to your shit morely than your piss and actuallys allows your body a time frame not to re absorb it.in you intestines.
    Stolen from me or someone else, probably Nephroll, and not reproduced accurately either.


    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    the day before your test don't work out!!! BE VERY LAZY! this will stop your body from burning off the THC metabolites as fast. which means less in your piss.
    Now the night before your test don't shake don't worry you've done great. double the dose of your B vitamins and niacin.(remember your creatine should have also been doubled 2-3 days prior.
    Day of your test you want to wake up and drink some gatorade(around 24 ounces) take 2 pisses. First piss of the day has the most THCA in it which means DONT LET THAT BE YOUR TESTER. Wake up early too way earlier than you normally do. say you wake up at 8 normally wake up at 6 give your body time for this to come into effect.

    NEXT part is IamN2pot dillution method but with a twist.

    The night before take 2 aspirin to sleep.
    When you wake up take 2 more and 4 hours before your test take 4 more.

    Next take double dosage of your Bcomplex vitamins.not timed relase buy the instant release(makes your piss yellow instead of clear)

    Now every hour after youve woken up drink anywhere from 20-30 ounces of gatorade. make sure in total you drank more than 60 ounces before your test. HINT THE LAST quart you drink put 2-3 tblspoons of salt in it.it will taste bad ut trust me it helps.
    PISS FREQUENTLY make sure you piss at least 4 times before your test this will help clean out your bladder.
    now go in and don't look nervous that usually throws up a flag.
    This is getting old. Instead of reading the quoted portion above, people are better just to use the original sticky by IamN2Pot.
    Quote Originally Posted by letsfightfelipe View Post
    now here's another alternative Qcarbo32 at gnc drink the night before( if you have money) it helps somewhat but this is mainly dilution and keepin the right lifestyle so everytime you go you wont worry.
    Worthless. The drink and the guide. I forgot to point out that if you're on house arrest, how do you run several miles a day? Do you do laps around the house or in the yard? Do you have a treadmill?
    Last edited by FakeBoobsRule; Feb-28-2010 at 08:02.
    Burnt Toast likes this.

  5. #4
    ForgetClassC's Avatar
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    Not to mention one of the steps is to take 3000mg of aspirin, meaning you taking 3000mg of acetaminophen while is just plain unhealthy, adding onto the fact that your body has been under extreme vitamin exposure and all the other types of shit you've been talking about. I'd rather not get high for awhile. I think if I was ever on probation, I would just grow, that way I know I'm get fucked up when I start again.

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  6. #5
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    Haha read FakeBoobs post, awesome, owned to the owned'th degree.

    -C
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  7. #6
    FakeBoobsRule's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForgetClassC View Post
    Not to mention one of the steps is to take 3000mg of aspirin, meaning you taking 3000mg of acetaminophen
    Aspirin is salicylic acid, not acetaminophen. Tylenol is the trade name of acetaminophen. The dilution sticky recommends 4 aspirins with some follow up. 4 aspirins taken at once at the standard dose of 325 mg shouldn't adversely affect most healthy individuals.

    Thanks though C!
    Last edited by FakeBoobsRule; Feb-28-2010 at 08:08.

  8. #7
    Dutch Pimp's Avatar
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    Smile

    ...what FBR is saying, is...
    Attached Thumbnails Attached Thumbnails AWESOME GUIDE FOR PASSING PROBATION DRUG TEST!!!!-shit.gif  

  9. #8
    Burnt Toast is offline Moderator
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    Furthermore, the use of aspirin is outdated as a countermeasure. Back in the day, it was used as an interferant for only one type of test: the first-generation EMIT screen. With the advent of the EMIT II, which was introduced to counter the interference issues caused by aspirin, the first-gen EMIT is seldom used anymore (if, at all).
    Last edited by Burnt Toast; Feb-28-2010 at 10:22.

  10. #9
    webdox is offline Registered+
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    Quote Originally Posted by webdox View Post
    I don't have time to line item veto most of your guide. Perhaps someone else will tackle it...
    Thank you very much FBR for not only tackling it but burying it under the ground where it belongs.

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