I have one "friend" who can be a real dick about smoking a lot of the time. If you have bud, he'll ask to buy a gram from you. Reasonable enough. Well, then he asks if you'll drop what you're doing and drive across town to get it to him. Annoying, maybe, but it's a sale, right? Well, then he asks you to sell it to him at cost. That's about where I call bullshit.

What ensues is a string of insults; he calls you a bad pusher for not being able to deliver your product, a "cheap jew" for not selling at cost (I'm Jewish, too, which makes it that much lamer), and a bad friend for not wanting to help him out after all he's done for you.

Another thing I hate is when people drool into your bong. Seriously, this one guy was ripping it when we all see a fat string of drool dribbling into the bong off his lip. He didn't even notice it!

Finally, i don't like it when people make every session into a big hit competition. I mean, it really doesn't have to be about draining the bowl in one hit; just toke a reasonable amount and pass the bowl, damn!

__________________
I've been jailed
And my phone's been bugged
But I'm still winning the war on drugs
--OPM, War on Drugs

One of my pet peeves is when people sink entire cones of YOUR weed when you're trying to save it for a while. Then you ask them not to chew through all your weed and they hassle you out and give you shit for bein 'stingy'. Fish lippin' sucks. And when you smoke someone out once, so everyday they see you they nag you for weed or ask you to get them a bag. Fucking annoying. Then if you don't throw your weed round they call you stingy. Fuckin' moochers.

__________________
Stoned smilies are cool!

"No one gives you the right to be an asshole. You're born with that right." -Anon

On the topic of midget police officers:

Oh, shit.

One thing I hate are people that take the opportunity during any buzz -- marijuana and / or other means -- to act like a God damn fool. Especially the ones I can read like a fucking McDonald's dollar menu. It's one thing for your 'buddies' to call you over and smoke weed with them, but when it's your weed and you're taking bullshit from them a line will be crossed.

People who quadruple-fucking-toke [ as the name implies it's literally adopting the joint as opposed to the standard double toke babysitting ]. It's one thing for them to be a newb, but when they've been smoking longer than I have and I've better smoking etiquette -- you get my point. I occasionally catch them doing it out of the corner of my eye -- when they glance over at me seeing if I'm catching their double-toking. Can't stand watching them take like eight - ten fucking LONG hits that accumulate to about three minutes of MJ Time. Nothing worse than a couple of people that all want to adopt the fucking joint, and all working against each other with MY weed to achieve it.

Oh, and throw one of them getting into a deep conversation, maybe a phone call, and you won't see the fucking weed again. Whatever buzz you have is right there. Inconsideration.

I REALLY get pissed when they start accusing me of double toking, or making the joint run. Shit, motherfucker, it was HANDED to me like this. YOU TWO [ or three ] explain this shit! Can't tell you how many times I've just took my sack and walked the fuck out. They're all looking at me with this dumbfounded expression -- "What? Where you going, man?"

While we're on the topic. Also used to hate people that took advantage of my kindness -- and all those thinking of growing who think they can get away with letting one other pothead know should take heed to this warning..

A couple years back when I kind of started growing my first couple plants, my joint adopting cousin -- whom I confided in with my secret -- couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut. I mean, I even told the ass that I'd be giving him a quarter or so off the plant, or whatever I could spare to him at a cost of nothing. He must have selective hearing, because I'll be damned if not a week fucking later he told his old lady that I might give him some bud off of a couple plants I had growing. THEN, he gets the nerve to get pissed off at me for bringing up the fact he told his old lady; "No one. I want no one else knowing -- this is something I'd prefer be kept lower than Hell. Understand? I mean, you don't have to do shit -- spend nothing -- and you're getting free bud! WTF?"


Thankfully, as far as I know, no one else found out. But now that I'm older -- and a pinch wiser -- I know not to speak of growing. Chances are he told his brother, too. I believe he even mentioned something about it to me, something to the effects of, "How much you harvest? Got any more bud left?"

Kind of inevitable, and just kind of completely fucking annoying. I really can't get pissed off at my cousin now for opening his mouth then, but he should have respected my wishes instead of thinking he could take it into his own hands.

__________________
"I didn't inhale." - Bill Clinton
[ A Presidential candidate at the time ]

"Make the most of the Indian hemp seed, and sow it everywhere!" - General George Washington
[ A note to his gardener at Mount Vernon, on the year 1794 ]

"First they ignore you; then they mock you; then they punish you; then you win." - Mahatma Ghandi
[ Indian independence leader ]

Anyone who uses marijuana as an excuse to act like a complete fucktard. You know what I mean.

there's been a couple of times that I have tried to grow and some me and my brother have tried.... anytime me and my brother did he told everyone.. yea that shit never ended up getting past 4 leaves... when i grow the first time itold the people i thought i could trust... they bring it up infront of peopl ei don't want knowing.... i haven't tried growing again, but i still get people asking me once in awhile "hey man, whatever happened ot that bud you were growing?" ... if i ever do grow again, well not if, when, me and the wife have arguments over me growing but i will do it someday...anyways, when i do.. i ain't telling a mother fucking soul.. not even my own brother (unless he's spending the week over here or something, theni might have to cuz he's gonna get curious when i keep disappearing off to the attic or something..)

what pisses me off is when people keep bugging you till you smoke them out, then they start being a prick to you once they've got their few tokes.

__________________

mother, do you think they'll drop the bomb?

mother do you think they'll like this song?

mother, do you think they'll try to break my balls?

mother should I run for president?

mother should I trust the government?

mother will they put me in the firing line?

mother am I really dying?

mother, did it need to be so high?

Not sharing your drink, Moochers, people who suck at trying to freak you out (its fun when you say confusing things to scare people but some people I know will try to make you flinch and shit, so annoying)

__________________
Here's to the hearts and the hands of the men,
that come with thte dust and are gone with the wind.

OMG THAT MAKES ME SO MAD!!!! My ex Lauren did that. She's like "The last 5 hits I've drooled into it, cuz I'm that happy". I took her outta the circle and packed her her own bowl.

I would have slapped her. I hate it when people use cannabis as an excuse to be stupid like that.

Yea, but ontop of that this dumbass drank the bongwater, I warned him but he just chugged it. It was SICK! We never told him she drooled in it tho. I dont think he would of cared tho.

Yeah, a friend of mine did that too. He threw up and we all just laughed and laughed...

LIPPING AND LETTING THE FUCKIN JOINT GO OUT FROM BULLSHITTING!!

YOu guys are all too nice, if someone hassles me about smoking too much, double tokes after I warned them once, or talk shit about my stuff will get me up in there face and ready to fight. If people talk into the mic (hold the shit while they talk about their boring ass life) or get spit all over my cigar I'll call them on it without hesitation. But stuff that just bugs me that I don't flip out over is stupid people trying to hold it in until they 'ghost' it or don't blow nothing out, or when I got alot of stuff and I'm packing the bowl I like to give people the green hit and then they call me on it and say shit like "That's yours man what are you doing trying to give me the green hit", after they say that it's over I just smoke it all in front of them. BUt I am 6'2" and 300lbs so what are they gonna say? Nothing if they wanna keep their noggin in tact.

ya, we call it a hooker,
im from the midwest USA
it's just a group of us that call it a hooker, long story...kinda grosss, not high enough to tell it right now

__________________
Poetry of a mad man:
Finite Fantasy
The American Dream Revisited

scream, r u from wisconsin?

__________________
get high in this motha fucka
420 Crew

I've seen my friends put coffee grounds in my steamroller and smoke them.


Weirdest fucking thing ever.

One of my big pet peeves is people asking me to smoke them out. Now I'm not stingy, I love providing my friends a good time... but come on! at let me do it on my own terms!

My pet smoking peeve stories:

I hate it the most when friends just go home right after smoking. It's even worse if they mooched the weed, and don't chip in at all to add to the frusteration. Shows they don't care about you and just want your weed.
They come up with bullshit excuses like "my aunt wants me to come home.. it's late" and it's not even late.

My sister baked the most beautiful pumpkin pie. It was crystal clear, and smelled so great it filled the apartment. The smell alone would turn your high into a happy high of cloud 9.
A friend of mine came over and when he got high, he suddenly went crazy by grabbing a knife and stabbed the shit ouf of my sister's pie as he laughed and laughed and laughed. My sister was so pissed she stole his weed.

Another story: Actually, this was me but mixed with my friend (same guy who mooched and left after smoking) My friend listens to hindu music and he was playing it loudly on the computer. We were smoking up and everytime he would sing along, his funny Bhutanese accent would totally CRACK ME UP. So I warned him not to sing when I smoke or I would crack up. So my other friend was lighting the pipe for me and the Bhutanese idiot suddenly sings loudly and I fucking blew and I mean BLEW the weed right out of the pipe and it sky rocketed into my friend's eye (the one who was lighting it) and he came RUNNING to the bathroom to wash it out. I yelled at my friend, but I also blamed myself for not being strong enough so I forgave him. Didn't wanna be a nazi and blame him for shit I did. In the end twas all just funny memories though.

One time, I came to some dude's house filled with people and I'm a reeaaal careful smoker. I always prepare good food before I smoke. I told everyone: "maybe you guys should get something to eat before we smoke up" and they said: "nahh, I don't get hungry". "All right, but don't say I warned you. If you get hungry, don't come crying to me!" Of course after we smoked they were all staring at my food like hungry animals. Bothered the hell outta me. Even tried mugging and pouncing. They were lions. ROAR

Paranoid mofos. People who love being so damn nice to their neighbors by keeping the volume on EVERYTHING low. The point of smoking is to chill da fuck out and relax, but the wanted us to be quiet. What makes it worse is that I'm hard of hearing and the t.v. being at low volume made it horrible for me. I could barely hear a thing. Makes it so much worse when we're watching a good important movie like Rushmore that I end up borrowing to take home and watch on my loud muthafuckin hdtv surround sound system with sound proof walls.
One time I was looking up weed stuff on his laptop and he got mad paranoid cause he thought people looking at the laptop through the window (which I doubt they'd be able to see cause they're fairly far away) would be pissed and call the cops and say we're smoking. He got so paranoid he yelled at me and shit to turn it off. We've been 'too' loud so many times for months and not ONCE has the neighbors ever came to complain. So many neighbors smoke anyway cause we can smell it from their doors across the hall. I forgot to mention he lives in a apartment building made for college students (yeah, he's THAT paranoid).

People who ask for a bite of your (sandwhich for example) and one bite = nearly the whole thing. Buy your own munchies next time .

People who never clean or say they will and just leave a mess and go home.

When I invite a friend over and next thing I know, he invites like a million people over. Am I not good enough that you need other people to accompany you? It's usually people I don't know. They also steal and take advantage. Last time my friend brought a friend, he stole alotta shit. My dad is still mentally insane from it ever since.

Peeps who spills shit and don't clean it. I'm coo if you clean it but if you won't even bother to clean, i'll go ape shit. I'm a neat freak.

When you're using a water pipe and you blow too hard by accident and get weed water all over you. Happened to me once. Holy shit gross.

People with nothing to do at their house. One time I was at this dude's place and all he does when he smokes is watch crappy television shows. It was so boring and horrid that I felt like I was in prison which made the high so bad.
He goes ape shit when I suggest to do something. Violent kid.

People who refuse to turn on the closed captions. Ey yo, may I understand the show please? But words take up too much of the screen it's too distracting!!!!111
Actually, you understand it much better cause you don't gotta waste so much brain power to hear everything. Just sit back and relax and read what's going on. Makes the high more relaxing too. I suggest you guys try it once.

People who get violent when they're high. Similar to violent drunks. Some kid wanted to pay his friend 5 dollars to smash a bottle on my head for no reason at all.



Sorry, but when a Jew sees a topic where he can complain at. They go all out. Just had to let it out. I guess I'm truely the one who needs to chill da fuck out, lol.
Peace.

Probably when people act like their higher then everyone else and they can't controle themselfs, actin like morons. I allow stupidity to a certain level while blazed but sometimes they push the line. I also hate smoking the current people I know out, with a few exceptions. One dude I smoked out at least 10 times now and he hasn't returned the favor. He hasn't even paid me the $10 bucks for the dime I sold him almost a month ago. I understand when people go through low money periods, I do the same. But when the same guy calls me up and asks if I want to match for a 1/4th, I start wondering where the money he owes me is going.

You can't do that,put down that damn weed and tell me,I am too curious for my own good sometimes lol

__________________
"The very man who has argued you down,will sometimes be found,years later,to have been influenced by what you said" ~ C.S.Lewis

It has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake. ~ Mark Twain

people who keeps saying "im not even high anymore, are you still high?" and acts like a fool and cant even walk straight and laughs constantly

this kid that ALWAYS asks "is my eye red?" and is always paranoid.

ppl who go and brag to other that their high or just got done smoking. this same kid would always want to walk somewhere after we smoke and start bragging and yelling that hes high as hell or he just got done smoking or asking if his eyes are red

one time i invited this same kid to smoke and it was my weed. while we were smoking he started throwing out rules. "i get the first hit" "pass it this way" and out of nowhere he grabbed my sack and tied it up saying that we were going to save the rest for tomorrow or we're gonna save the rest to roll a blunt later.

when they dont shut up and it takes forever to pass.i hate when i have to ask to pass me my own shit.

...ok, to make a long story short...we know a hooker and whenever she gets real fucked up she gets sick. theres more to it but thats the genereal idea

__________________
Poetry of a mad man:
Finite Fantasy
The American Dream Revisited

I really hate it when I pass out when there is my weed left and they smoke it all up after i pass out, then i wake up and beat the shit out of all of them because they took my weed. You dont ever touch a man's weed without his consent, or you pay the price, am i right?

the only thing that gets on my nerves is when people hold the pipe for a long time after they hit it

Things I hate:

- When people take 2-3 hits in a row without inhaling, call it 1 hit, and then do it again.

- When random "friends" of people in my smoking circle appear, smoke up the weed 1 of my friends and me get (The others are lazy and won't get jobs), and then act like assholes.

- When my friends keep getting taken to jail. I've never been so much as arrested, and they keep getting locked up.

- When I go in baked to work, to get through the shift easily, and they give me 1000 things to do BESIDES my normal job, most of which is doing things for other people. BUZZ KILL!

- When my friends start drinking, I think 2 of them are becoming alcoholics. They get violent, not towards me, but towards my younger friends, or any cats around.... pisses me off to no end.

- When they listen to 1/2 of a song, and then change it, saying it's getting "boring"

- When one of my friends is getting addicted to coke and another got some girl pregnant and can't ever hang out because he's gotta be with her... and my other friend gets locked up. Seriously, I hate the area I live in, I wanna be around smart smokers .

They aren't that bad, and the remaining 2 of my friends are still cool, but I'm gonna need a new smoking circle soon...