"Social anxiety disorder, also called social phobia, is an anxiety disorder in which a person has an excessive and unreasonable fear of social situations. Anxiety (intense nervousness) and self-consciousness arise from a fear of being closely watched, judged and criticized by others. Many people are uneasy with shyness in others, especially in cultures which value individuality and taking charge."
This disorder has pleged my entire adolescence and early adulthood life, Being the shy guy..has really effected my soical life, obviously. Relationships, are what make life worth living... and it really kills you when you cant shake this anxiety. When I'm with my few good friends(life-long buddies), family. I'm super outgoing and social. But when you put me in an unknown group of people, or around females...I shut off. I want the relationship with the person but it becomes a forced thing...It cant just come "natural" because of my anxiety. "Why is your friend so quite?"... I see men walking around with beautiful girlfriends.. I want that..kind of relationship so badly you can taste it... but to get that you gotta speak up. The anxiety has a hold around my balls and wont let go...It just wont.. People say man, Just get over it and lighten up...as if social anxiety disorder was a light switch that one could turn on and off. If I could I would...it's not that easy.
This of course has lead to some major depression, Which has lead to alcohol to numb the pain.. alcohol-depression go hand in hand... I've been down some dark roads with that evil tonic. I'm just know getting off the souce and trying to face my problems head on.
Sorry for the post, Just had to get some stuff off my chest. Now it's time to face the world...either they accept or reject me, I can only be me...