I feel I'm losing all desire to do anything. I work full-time and go to school part-time and I been meeting my obligations. In this sense, I'm motivated, along with keeping in shape.

Other than these 3 goals, I lost all desire to do anything else. I been wanting to hang around friends less. I have no desire to pursue a girlfriend. All I want to do is sit there, veg out and smoke cannabis all day long, forget about all this pain I have inside. This past weekend, other than maintaining the house and working in the gym, I found myself smoking pot all myself, all day long.

I think I am going insane as well. I been lightings bowls, bongs, joints of high-powered cannabis approximately every half an hour when I get my opportunities. I find myself laughing in the mirror screaming I'm a junkie. The worst part is I don't give a fuck anymore. Well I sorta do, but at some point, I just want to let go and live like one of those potheads in a van down by the river. Just not giving a fuck about anything and nothing.

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Happiness only real when shared

well, step one is complete: you've identified the problem.
you recognize these desires as unhealthy and/or unproductive.
can't really offer any help but to tell you to get help.
also, a request... don't do anything more to give us "potheads" a worse name. don't perpetuate our stereotype.

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" -Benjamin Franklin

"If you don't like my fire, then don't come around. 'Cause I'm gonna burn one down." - Ben Harper

"America; first we fight for our freedom, then we make laws to take it away." -Alfred E. Newman

Sounds more like depression than addiction.

Stop toking and get some counseling.

Had a similar experience when I got broken up with.

Just have to take it one step at a time.

The gym thing is good tho'. Do that shit.

Seconded. Depression brought on by your physical pain I presume? Or they could just be happening together. Switch to hash or edibles.

Sup man

Yeah, it is a very good thing that you have admitted your weakness and problem.

But, dont look at it as such a horrible problem, I have been through the same boring, strung out, confusing period like you are having. You should slowly realize that it is normal, and if you think that it is NOT normal, it is because your inner ego is fighting your actions, thinking that it is not 'cool' or normal, or sane. You are perfectly fine, but just moving into a different life style. Life is not always happy and clear and a big smile on your face. Sometimes there is a puzzle to put together, and that puzzle right now, is yourself.

So what I would suggest you do, is:

- Find your true self. Find enlightenment. In some sense, you are on the right path.
- Find more activities that stimulate your mind and your body.. Maybe a book, or just go walking around, get some fresh air.
-Maybe find a particular topic and just research the hell out of it, knowledge is always healthy.

Keep your head up, and dont let anyone else TELL you what you are.
Always be true to yourself, and dont be afraid to question yourself. Where there are questions, there are answers, and where there are answers, there is valuable lessons.

Enough of my words for now..
Let us know if you would like/need any more advice man.

Lets hope it is a phase and that it passes. Ive gone through periods where ive been really depressed and didnt feel like doing anything. i actually just came out of one of my phases...jsut know that your life really isnt as bad as you make it out to be right now and that youll be feeling better in no time
...thats at least how im affected
hope you feel better

I hate to just step into "thcbongman" thread. But I just had to thank "kshchrn831" for that good advice. Ive been fighting depression for a while now, and what he says rings true to me. Though I do understand how dificult it can be to acualy pot these remadies into practice. But it does sound like taking a break from the smoking. Ti sounds like it is counterproductive for you right now. Ive read that small amounts of THC can help, but alot only makes the symptoms worse.

I just don't know why I feel like this. It's not like my life is bad, other than the fact I lost my father recently and I'm still having trouble coming to terms with it. A woman who I loved left me not too long before it happened. Otherwise I have nothing wrong, I'm successful professionally and academically. I don't feel happiness anymore. I have zero confidence in myself despite having every reason to.

I'm sick of fighting to keep afloat, sane, faking I'm a little happy. Shit I haven't any semblance of happiness. I been deeply depressed before, but it's not like anything I'm experiencing right now. Part of me believes to let go and stop trying, I'm tired, I'm starting to slow down in my mind and physically, losing desire to have any fun and have contact with anyone.

You say always be true to yourself, but what is that? I don't feel like I been anything different other than being myself. I just can't feel happy other than when I light up a bowl. That's when my mind can finally relax. My mind is so screwed up, my thoughts becoming more nutty, isolated, arrogant and angry. I am currently in counseling, but it brought on these conclusions to fuck everything and live a life more simpler. I'm just tired of everything.

Thank you all for your words, it's very much appreciated.

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Happiness only real when shared

Switch to whiskey? Just kidding.

Its the woman.

Get wit it in the Gym and then get wit a girl.

You'll feel at least a little better.

Sorry about your father passing. Give that stuff time.


- GZ

Hey,

First off i'd like to say that I think what your experiencing is perfectly normal.
I know a lot of people, including myself, who have smoked all day long and veged out. When life throws you lemons, smoke weed...it's just what a lot of people do. For example, I went to court and got my license suspended...as a result all I did was sit around and smoke all day, every day. But I, like you, got sick of myself sitting around all the time, so i got a gym pass . Its for sure a good thing to have, its a scheduled thing to do and in the process you get healthier. I also started to try and just get out of the house...take a walk, or hang out with your friends anyways.

But if you just want 2 straight answers here they are lol

1. Smoke less

2. Don't let the cannabis handle you, I smoke all day every day still actually, but I am very active and love to go about my day. I meet new people and what's really funny is no one ever knows im stoned. Its like im normal on the outside but i still have that great feeling you get stoned on a sofa inside.

P.S. Depression seems kind of a push, maybe the diagnoses should be left to doctors, don't want to get him worried he's depressed when it may just be hes really stoned and when your really stoned, you don't want to do anything haha.

P.S.S. After reading your second post, depression may be what your experiencing in my unprofessional opinion (i know...Hypocrite right?)

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*Anything posted under this username is strictly for entertainment purposes only*

First off, YOU LUCKY BASTARD ! You want to feel better. Stop.

I could spin you a tale of woe that would make even your dog cry. If you were me you would just go ahead a shoot yourself before they knew you had a gun. They took all of mine. Busted, out of work most of the year. Suicide is an everyday thought but All I have left is my Samurai swords. You know how painfull it is to commit Hari Cari ? I don't yet. I could do this all day but you would only feel worse. Or I would. I get to somke very little the last 2 years. It made me saine, normal is insaine for me.

In an insaine world the saine man must surely seem insaine. The whole world is crazy and insaine.

I would like to take a moment and cry and pray for you and the loss of your father. Losing a loved is never right.

I lost my best friend in the world a few years ago before I got busted by my nephew. You know how long it takes to get over losing a loved one ? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------NEVER !

I see your problem as you are not sharing. When I had a good friend to smoke with and share with the world was our oyster no matter how poor or bad things got. Now I feel worse than you. I no longer have anyone to smoke with and that leads down a dark road. YOU are on it now. When I do smoke by myself I do feel the way you do. I am not an out going person and don't make friends easy. Most of all one you can smoke with or trust. Do not smoke alone !!!!!

My wife blaims me for all our problems and untill I find work all is lost.

I have worked for 30 years but drop the ball because of bad times. Let the punishment fit the crime.

Out of 4 brothers I am number 3. My parents loved me and helped me. I was looked up to.

Now I am a discrace to them and known as the village pothead who grows dope and poisons children. Even though I never sold a thing. I am part of the terrorist effort to bring the US down because I had some drugs I grew myself for myself.

This is the best part, My Nephew who was busted dealing cocaine and had a felony already busted me but I was not enough for the cops so he busted the coke dealer too. That's a death sentence. Coke dealer and his bro are trying to find him.

My Nephew ran off and was forced to join the Army. He is now in Iraq and he will be known as a war hero and veteran. Not the back stabbing scum of the Earth he is.

Doesn't that brighten up your day.

Sorry to go on like this. It is time to practice with my swords. A more elegant weapon from a more civilized age. Exercise helps clear my mind too. The arts of the Samuari have help some but not enough.

Dude I wish I could come smoke and laugh with you. It's what you need.

Oh I have not laughed in over 2 years till I got to burn one kronic and watch Pineapple express. See it with some one. Oh, sorry about the first part.

I hit the gym often, weights, yoga, pylotechnics, the works. I'm personality A when it comes to accomplishing goals that are measureable, I simply won't quit until I met them.

As for women, I'm sick of them. Just a waste of time for nothing, they only want you when the times are good, but when the times are bad, they run away. I'll fend for myself, learn to love my hand and pick-up some slut at a club, fuck her like an animal and be done with it. I'm not even that type of guy to pick-up chicks like that, I'd prefer being with one girl with soul and substance but I fully understand now why some guys become assholes and I'm inclined to give them a pat on the back for it. I put all my heart and soul into her, only to be betrayed in the end, at the worst possible time. Fuck that.

I simply don't understand how quitting smoking would help. I feel like complete shit when I'm sober, I'm uncomfortable and all the pain comes back. Cannabis takes it away, causes me to smile, laugh, but at the same time, it's counterproductive in some way. I can't even tell if the cannabis is controlling me or I am controlling the cannabis the line is so blurred. I been functioning well professionally and academically for so long despite my high intake.

LOC, I feel your pain and I'm sure you have more than I. The only difference between you and me is I don't want to die, I almost lost my life, knowing that feeling makes you not want to die.

Part of the problem is all my close friends are quitting toking one by one or moved away. Now I have no one. Meeting new people is hard as well, I'm shy, I don't connect well with people and sometimes I'm simply a prick by nature. I definitely have to find myself some nice toker friends. Wish I could enjoy a toke with you!

Reading all about your problems made me realize I guess I don't have it half-bad. I just need to stop having this shitty feeling!

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Happiness only real when shared

Dude, I meant all that in a good way. I know there will allways be others that have it worse, even I can see that. Worse is a state of mind, you may have it worse than me. Sorry man LOVE is a bitch. I lost my true love once and got her back. I was only just told by my lets see over 30 years together soul mate that I ruined her whole life. It didn't just happen when my troubles started or my health going bad just a few years ago. Had a heart attack, not real bad just need to lose some weight I gained from stopping cig's. I mean her whole life. I thought we had some real good times. But you know that's when my smoking bud's were still alive or at least around and could smoke. When I smoke by myself I toke tooooo much and toooo many times a day. Then I'm just sitting here blasted up with no concerts ( oh how I used to love a good smoke and a concert ) or good movies or even a job to go to. I love to work. I work residential construction. If I were not in debt I would have my contractors licience by now. LOL. Concerts, man I have seen some of the immortal bands of all time. The only ones I missed as whole bands were Led Zepplin and the WHO. I got some willd pic's of VanHalen's last tour with David Lee Roth.

I do not want to die but I believe in an Eastern mind set, much as a Samuria. I dishonored my family, for that there is only one thing. Leave forever or die. Same thing. I can only live in shame now.

I am now starting to study the Tibetan book of the dead. Very interesting, I may need it. LOL.

I know how it is being shy. I am too. I don't make friends easy, it can take years. When I meditate and let it all go is when I find what I wasn't looking for. If you know what I mean.

Just realize that the universe is a screwed up place and life is not fair. Some get alot more fairness than others.

Hell you have made a friend here. I would stop by and puff puff if I could find you. Keep you from smoking tooo much. Let the good times roll and happy trails.

Buddha once sat before a wall and when he arose he was enlightened. I do not compair myself to Buddha. Only the wall.

It's like having to put your wiener on the table and having the whole world say, HEY!! that looks like a wiener only smaller. "The Guru Pitka"

I went through a small phase like this it lasted about 2 months. I would say maybe try not to smoke as much and force yourself to go out every once in a while. We are social beings and not interacting with others could bring on a depression. Also if any of your friends smoke try to get them to come over or go there and hang out a smoke with together and have fun.

Hope it works out

Do this:

Whenever you are feeling depressed about something, ask yourself "how do I know Im depressed?"
Whatever comes next, see yourself there in your head. Rise above yourself to an altitude that makes the memory easier to handle. Like superman you see yourself at your dad's funeral crying ect.
Also, you know that you are depressed all the time, unless your not sure? When you think of smoking, how do you know it makes you excited. When does it start and when does it go away. Analyze the pictures you see when your thinking of this.
Basically ask yourself when did you do something you were proud of?
Stop telling yourself shit that is depressing, stop arguing with people in your head. Imagine things that motivate you and add loud sounds to the background, like loud drums, or 100 black women singing hallelujah! Imagine your boss is a tiny smurf and your a black panther slowly creeping up with people all around cheering you on as you say to yourself " Yooouurr Miiinneee!" weeeeww that motivates me.
Also, correct your posture and turn the edges of your mouth up. Sometimes if you fake it long enough it will stick. Breath in and exhale all that negative dialogue out of your head. I sometime repeat to myself "shut the F*** up, shut the F*** up,...." over and over until I stop telling myself crap, like that I failed at something, or that somebody doesn't approve or like me.
These techniques are utilized in NLP (neural linguistic programming). Look it up. Lucinda Bassett is good. I really wish you the best.... Now go make it a good day.
BB

If you are asking yourself if there is a problem.....there is a problem.

There becomes a point sometimes where you no longer feel you have a choice Act while you still can.

Stop using it if you feel it is taking you over is my best advice.

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Haze(y) Grow Log:
http://boards.cannabis.com/grow-log/...-grow-log.html

"Your deeds show your character."-StinkyAttic

Best thing I have heard all day.

I ramble when I take my meds. LOL

I want to start out, I really appreciate the advice everyone has given, every bit is making me think about starting to moderate my weed intake (I'm starting a log to keep track of how much I really smoke, this is gonna be scary to look at.) and suggestions to defeat my negative thought process and LOC rants, (dude you are awesome, I want to share a toke with ya so bad, just being at badass concerts is much of a passion as it is for you!) Thank you all so much and really you gals and guys should be smoking my cannabis to help me cut down!

I am starting to feel a bit better. Out of the blue, I met a cute lady on the subway who smokes cannabis and have a toke date tomorrow! I hope she is a real toker and not another one of those girls. Hopefully she doesn't flake. At least my spirits are lifted a little bit!

__________________
Happiness only real when shared

Way to go dude. Things sound more positive now. Take it easy and safe find out slow if she can toke like a pro if you got the chronic. Don't expect her to. Some people freak out a little. My wife on a blue moon will try to hang and turn into melted butter good night.

Whats that , keep a log ? Yea do that and let us know we can compaire.

I will come over and smoke everything you got then will both be even. LOL

I'm definitely gonna take it nice and easy, just enjoy the moment and go with the flow and see! Every girlfriend I had would always toke a little in the beginning, then stop. It sucks, but I'm not letting it happen again! She claimed to toke a lot for a girl, we'll see about that

I'll let ya know about how much I end up toking after I record a few days and we'll compare!

And ya know if you come over, you'll end up in a coma, you got a lot to smoke by yourself!

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Happiness only real when shared

Great man.

Tell us all how this toke date goes man.

Im stoked for you. This was the first step for me after my woman left me. Gettin with the opposite sex makes life interesting and colorful.

Get it. Plain and simple. You livin your life man.

-GZ

My life's ambition is to go to Amsterdamnsky With Willy Nelson, Tommy Chong, and Snoop Dog. I got to watch the special with Chong a few nights ago when he had to do nine months in jail for his son's company sending a bong to pensilvania with chong's pic on it. It was pure entrappment. Now I think I will add Govner Arnould S. to that list. Dude Chong was sitting with the dude out of Nice Dreams. The one at the weight lifting club that's loading him up with t-shirts and stuff for buds. That dude was a major power lifter and owned the gym where Arnould did most of his work out. They both laffed real funny like about Arnould tokin up back then. That's on my bucket list and we will stop by and get you when we go.

Oh, Coma is my middle name.

If you have not, go see pineapple express. Get a buzz on. I get movies before they get out of the theater most of the time. Oh thank the maker for the internet.

that's really unfortunate... i'm sorry to hear its giving you such grief.

In moderation, or even with proper tolerance and self discipline cannabis can be a helpful tool in your life.

I've seen some friends go down on worse drugs (whipits.org), that's for sure... Keep your chin up!