Thread: Letting your kids date

Do any of you let your kids date?.
Im new at this cannabis site, so i thought i'd start a new thread.
I personally dont want my daughter dating.
But as for my son, i can care less,
What about you guys?

Why the double standard?

ohh daugther is 11, my son is 17,
haa thats whhyy

I don't have any kids, but thinking about it when I do and they grow up and stuff. I'd be a lot more cautious about my daughter dating than a son. My reasons would be this, with my son, he'll be raised to respect women and treat a lady right. So anygirl he dates I'll expect him to treat her right. Also if he starts having sex and has a kid, I'll support my son but it will be time for him to step up and do the right thing.
If I have a daughter, I will do some serious looking at her boyfriends character. I'm not going to forbid this/that or whatever....hmmmm

I just thought "if you raise your kids right, you shouldn't have much to worry about"
so maybe I won't

Originally Posted by FlyGuyOU

I don't have any kids, but thinking about it when I do and they grow up and stuff. I'd be a lot more cautious about my daughter dating than a son. My reasons would be this, with my son, he'll be raised to respect women and treat a lady right. So anygirl he dates I'll expect him to treat her right. Also if he starts having sex and has a kid, I'll support my son but it will be time for him to step up and do the right thing.
If I have a daughter, I will do some serious looking at her boyfriends character. I'm not going to forbid this/that or whatever....hmmmm

I just thought "if you raise your kids right, you shouldn't have much to worry about"
so maybe I won't

the EXACT same way i feel

Our son's 21, so yes, he's allowed to date. We never had a lower age limit on that when he was younger. He took dates to middle-school dances, as I recall, long before he could drive. But mostly until he was a little older, the boys and girls all went places in groups, which was how they seemed to feel more comfortable. One-on-one "dating" was an awkward proposition for most of them.

Double-standard or not, I'd likely have been more cautious with a daughter, too.

And remeber, if you really don't like your kid's bf/gf then pretend you absolutley love them, invite them to family functions, give them gifts and generally act like they're the best thing ever. There's nothing that will destroy their credibility more effectively than parental approval.

it has to be a double standard i dont know why call it sexist
having ur 14 year old son go out and get caught kissing a girl u go tell all ur friends
you catch ur 14 year old daughter regardless if it is mom or dad who catches them there will be hell to pay

my parents never had any dating restrictions on me, but i was really shy for most of my younger years so i didnt go on too many dates

as a 20 year old kid in college i know the things that happen

its so hard because parents dont want their kids to go out and get in trouble but let me tell you that if you hold your kid down and restrict their freedom then it will come back to haunt you. my parents tried to keep me home every weekend in high school until I was 18 and it gave me a really rebellious attitude that i still have today

obviously things are different with girls. parents dont worry as much about their son going on dates but with daughters its different. i really dont ever want to have a daughter seeing some of the things that happen every day. its definitely harder than being a guy

i would just tell a daughter to be very responsible and careful with what you do. girls are obsessed with image and reputation and the last thing any of them need is a nasty rumor going around about who did who

the best bet is to just instill quality values in the children. teach your son how to treat a woman. teach your daughter about responsibility. kids are going to do what they want when they want, and the only thing you can do is hope they are smart enough to do the right things

my parents never talked to me about sex at all or anything of that nature so i had to figure most of it out on my own.

it definitely starts in the home though. if a child sees a healthy parental relationship (husband and wife) then they too will look to obtain the same things in life.

Ok, Well this is coming from a 16 year old Male, and i have been actively dating for just under 3 years. (like one on one dates during weekends, time actually spent with a person.)

My first story, first girlfriend, dated her for 5 months, 4 months into the relationship we were forbidden to see each other. Did the whole sneaking about thing. in that one month she was constantly trying to do sexual things with me (such as handjobs trying to put my hand in her pants, that whole deal). relationship broke at 5, i wasn't ready and didn't like how it was moving so quickly so suddenly.

had a couple of small monthish (aware not a word) relationships.

started getting serious again with a girl, this was at about 14, 6 months. dating for a while and again was decided i wasn't allowed to see her at all, her parents again unknown reasons. within a month of this, the whole sneaking around thing going on again, she decides she wants to have sex, i say no, she ends up pressuring massively for it, and then she dumped me, since i didn't love her not wanting to have sex....

next relationship ended up failing for various reasons. Now believe sex destroys relationships if you can't handle it....

currents going great

From what I've found in my experiences, when a relationship is forbidden it suddenly becomes a lot more interesting, and female's tend to want more, which i think is more of a rebellious thing.
And also the most enjoyable and healthiest relationships I've been in, Both me and the girl in question, were honest with what we were doing (only if ever specifically asked about it of course..), and felt we didn't need to really hide anything. they also happen to have been the least sexually active relationships, more emotional.

but I'm still only 16, alot more to experience in life yet
take what I've said as you will, just what I've seen.

I agree with a lot of you. It's easy to feel comfortable in terms of dating with your son since you know, if you raised him half right, that he would take responsibly for any mistakes and eventually take control of his own life. With girls, you're always afraid some smooth talker will come along and "ruin" your daughter's life in one fell swoop.

EDIT: I took a gander at this after I posted it and, in conjunction with taking a gander at my avatar, I have decided I will not post any more in the Parenting forum.

Originally Posted by Nightfire24

Ok, Well this is coming from a 16 year old

but I'm still only 16, alot more to experience in life yet

This is a baaaaad site to say this friend, lol. Just watch out, mods keep an eye out.

Let them date. Honestly, think back to when you were younger. You wanted to do the things you were not allowed to do, so do they.

Besides, a dont do this Jhonny speech can't hold its own against raging teen horomones, LOL

Our son is 15 and not yet driving. He is handsome and popular, and as far as we know, he meets with other kids in groups in such places as the mall, bowling alley, sports events, and school functions. They call it "dating", although by our adult standards it really isn't.

I also have 2 Goddaughters, and although it is a bit of a double standard, I'm so glad I have a boy instead of a girl.

Originally Posted by FlyGuyOU

I don't have any kids, but thinking about it when I do and they grow up and stuff. I'd be a lot more cautious about my daughter dating than a son. My reasons would be this, with my son, he'll be raised to respect women and treat a lady right. So anygirl he dates I'll expect him to treat her right. Also if he starts having sex and has a kid, I'll support my son but it will be time for him to step up and do the right thing.
If I have a daughter, I will do some serious looking at her boyfriends character. I'm not going to forbid this/that or whatever....hmmmm

I just thought "if you raise your kids right, you shouldn't have much to worry about"
so maybe I won't

i entirely agree

You should def let her date. Teach and talk to her about her experiences so she will know what to and not to do. Give her some direction now before she goes into college. Because the majority of girls that are in college and havent been guided by someone are total sluts. Excuse my language