pass piss test evrytime. (Not Really but a good discussion on Certo/Pectin)

Discussion in 'Drug Testing' started by BenDover5151420, Oct 19, 2007.

  1. BenDover5151420

    BenDover5151420 Registered+

    Where I went to high school they drug tested all Varsity football players. I got tested one time about evry 2-3 weeks for 3 years strait. I smoked a good amount at the time.. maybe like 5 or 6 cigarilos a day, and i am fat so i store thc like a mug.

    Go to your local grocery store and go to were the jello is. look for CERTO jeleton mix... it is in a blue box. buy 2 0r 3 pack as they are only 75cents or so.. Each pack has 2 bags of this nasty ass smellin shit. drink one strait the night befor if posible. then mix one with water or gatoraid the morning of your test. If it is not posible to do it twice u will probly still be good as long as u drink one strait a few houres befor.

    This does not in any way cleen or flush you out.. Certo is very thick and sticky. when you swalow it it runs down into your stomic and creats a barrier between your stomic wall. preventing any thc from going into your piss for at least a day or 2.

    It is basicly putting a balon in your stomic, filling it up with water or w.e and then pissing out strait water that has not touched by your stomic wall at all.

    This worked 100% of the time for me, and 100% of the time for my homie who is on paper, he got tested one time a month by his p.o
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  2. RunningScared

    RunningScared Registered+

    I think the idea is that it gets sticky in your kidneys/bladder, not your stomach. THC would never really ever even get to your stomach, unless you eat brownies. But, I'd rather have someone like FBR confirm this.......

  3. Old Stoner

    Old Stoner Banned

    I agree, RS. ^^ FBR, watch 'cha say on this?
  4. happiestmferoutthere

    happiestmferoutthere Registered+

    I say its dilution, at best. You need to drink a lot to get that Certo down.

    Just an educated guess.;)
  5. SmokeyTokey

    SmokeyTokey Registered+

    That's crazy. I don't think I will be trying this one.
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  6. FakeBoobsRule

    FakeBoobsRule Smackdown Moderation

    Wanted: Those who paid attention in science classes


    That is one of the most insane things I have ever read here.

    Have you had any classes in biology and if you did were you paying attention in them?

    Why would you think THC is stored in your stomach? Let me repeat that. Why would you think THC is stored in your stomach? Why would you think Certo creates a barrier in your stomach? Why would you think things go from your stomach straight into your urine? Think about what you just wrote and honestly tell me if any of that makes sense. Certo doesn't coat anything, not your stomach, not your blood vessels, not your kidneys, not your bladder, nothing. To think things enter your body and go through it untouched shows how horrible this explanation is on how you passed. Furthermore, to try to tell people this explanation is even worse because their freedom, jobs, or child may depend on passing a drug test.

    I have done my research on Certo though and this is what I have found:

    Those that have passed usually are also diluting at the same time they take the certo. Many will mix it into a bottle of gatorade then fill the bottle with water and drink it down, which ends up being about the fluid amount used in dilution.

    Certo can also have a slight diuretic effect. Finally, certo contains fruit pectin, which is a form of soluble fiber. I have called the makers of certo, which I think is Kraft, and asked them how much soluble fiber is in a box of certo. All they can tell me is that it has soluble fiber in the form of pectin but they don't know how much (at least the operators for the 800 number didn't have access to that info). In fact, I think the product code is this: 4300029320. See, on the box it says less than 1 gram per serving but there are 64 servings in a box. So that could be anywhere from nearly 0 to almost 64 grams.

    Why is soluble fiber important. Your body eliminates most THC metabolites through renal and hepatic elimination (BenDover, that would be your kidneys and liver). Hepatic elimination results in THC metabolites excreted through your feces. Soluble fiber can help prevent these metabolites from being reabsorbed from your feces back into your body. Next, soluble fiber removes bile from your intestine. Your body must then replace the bile so your body pulls cholesterol from the blood to make bile. This process can help make more THC metabolites available for elimination by the liver and less metabolites available for elimination by the kidneys thus less in the urine.

    So, most people who pass using certo are probably passing because they are diluting and adding soluble fiber to the dilution process.

    I would like for Kraft to tell me exactly how much fiber is in a box of certo but until then, I continue to recommend Metamucil because that is a good source of soluble fiber and I know how much fiber is in it per serving.

    Still, better yet, forget smoking while on probation and substitute for your employment tests.

    With your low post count and a post filled with incorrect info on human physiology, I hope people will understand the saying "consider the source" and not depend on your method to pass. Ballons, barriers, not touching your stomach walls, what a load of shit.

    Naming this thread pass every time when you post such poor information on how the human body works is completely irresponsible.
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2009
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  7. killerweed420

    killerweed420 Registered+

    Thank you FBR. That clears it up.
  8. nbvs1

    nbvs1 Registered

    could it work by separating out the thc metabolites? like the different compounds would travel at different speeds through the certo (like chromatography). or would it be such a small time difference that they traveled that it wouldnt matter?
  9. BenDover5151420

    BenDover5151420 Registered+

    Fakeboobs sounds good i like all ur input, u really went all out and looked all that up.. i can respect that...Yes you are right i am not a scientst or any thing, and i am not the smartest person in the world as u can tell by my spelling. my intention of this thread was to give a last min solution to a problem.. obviously this way is pretty getto, and only for use if you do not have time for a readycleen or somthing like that.
    It has worked for me time after time and i will alweys use it if i dont have a reasonable amount of time to prepare. If i have a day or two, i like a good flush kit wich is sold down the street from where i live.
    I should have titled this thread (if desperate, and out of time, try this befor a drug test) maybe i dono..
  10. BenDover5151420

    BenDover5151420 Registered+

    fake boobs suck anyway.. there fuckin gross,and i hope ur's pop
  11. jeffman

    jeffman Registered+

  12. shaan04

    shaan04 Registered+

    Dont be talkin shit bout Fake Boobs Rule he been helping ppl out for soo long and you come up with some dumb ass idea of sticking jello up ur ass to pass a piss test get banned already
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2007
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  13. killerweed420

    killerweed420 Registered+

  14. Iguana

    Iguana Registered+

    You've been lucky. What you describe will get someone in trouble. FBR speaks from knowledge of science and his experience. Many more years than you've got.
  15. yorry

    yorry Registered

    Ha! There was a whole three minutes before the dummy spit. I agree, If you don't know what you're talking about, think before you spread misinformation, or say something stupid. Thanks for the clarification FBR, although I do agree with Ben about the boobies ... nothing beats real ones!
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  16. ChipThaRipper

    ChipThaRipper Registered

    Pass a Drug Test

    Take creatine two days before your test, drink at least 48oz of water each day before on the day of the test drink a 16oz water and a small cup of creatine 3 and half hours before your urine test. No thc will be present in your urine, because its stored in your fat and thc is not water saluable so it will blocked by creatine a few days later you would fail because your fat will break down thc into metabolites. Hope this helps don't drink bleach, don't use water pills, or niacin flushes!!! Trust creatine that's what strip and other detoxs are just with extra metabolism blockers.:Rasta:
  17. Iguana

    Iguana Registered+

    Wow, lots of misinformation here! Creatine doesn't block THC being released from fat cells. Creatine raises the creatinine level in your urine so that when you dilute your urine by drinking greater than normal levels of liquids your urine can still pass an integrity test for creatinine level. Please read the Dilution sticky to be better informed on the dilution process and why it can work.
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  18. Burnt Toast

    Burnt Toast Registered+

    Exactly. Creatine has ZERO effect on THC metabolites. Creatine supps are taken to during waterloading to help maintain satisfactory creatinine readings.
    Creatine metabolizes into creatinine, taking 2-3 days to do so.

    THC is stored in fat cells. When fat cells burn, THC is metabolized into THCA and released back into the bloodstream, making an eventual exit via the urine. There is no such thing as a product that can prevent THC from being metabolized and released back into the bloodstream. The only thing a person can do is stop all exercising 3 days before the U/A, and be as lazy as possible to prevent fat from burning, thus releasing a bunch of THCA into the bloodstream, which end up in the urine to be detected.
    Last edited: Mar 1, 2009
  19. ClosetSmoker24

    ClosetSmoker24 Registered

    Okay... I have looked at soooo many forums that question the Certo method. Im sick of wondering if it works, and so I am going to conduct a little experiment.

    At 3:20 PM today I dank a bottle of powerade mixed with a packet of Certo.
    At 3:30 PM I filled the empty bottle back up with water and downed it.
    At 3:50 I peed...
    At 4:05 peed again
    At 4:10 I filled the bottle up again, and sipped on it until 4:20, and took 2 asprin (Just heard it helps)
    At 4:30 peed again
    At 5:20 I took a home drug test ($45.00 at Walmart). I began to fill the Cup midstream.
    Hell yes! I smoked last night! I dont know bout yal but i know what works 4 me!
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  20. FakeBoobsRule

    FakeBoobsRule Smackdown Moderation

    While you might have passed using that method, you haven't proven a damn thing.

    For a science experiment to have any validity, you can only change one variable. In your experiment you have changed 2 variables, amount of liquid consumed and amount of certo consumed. Nevermind the fact you don't have a baseline before you changed two variables.

    You can't change two variables.

    You passed using dilution with the addition of fiber.

    I just don't understand why people don't listen.
    Last edited: Mar 22, 2009
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