SUBSTITUTION: tips, tricks and guidelines

Discussion in 'Drug Testing' started by IamN2pot, May 1, 2004.

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  1. crf250smoker

    crf250smoker Registered+

    thanks, that just makes it allot easyer for me to get clean urin
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  2. bongomania

    bongomania Banned

    pregnancy matters

    the hypothetical has a possibility of happening that a dude has a chick give him urine so he can hide it and use it for his UA. They could find out that she's pregnant when she didn't kow it herself. And why all the discussion about the best way to cheat a drug test. Read Passing Drug Tests by Kenn A Biscranium and find out how to rapidly and healthfully detox for any random UA. It was written by a guy who smoked weed constantly while on parole and what he did to pass ALL of his random UA's :thumbsup: It was cowritten with a doctor of chemistry; it is absolutely accurate and very informative. And the Boulder Weekly said the book is "hilarious". Read it and pass all your drug tests from now on.
  3. Burnt Toast

    Burnt Toast Registered+

    Pregnancy is NOT tested.

    Pure ancient wives tale that goes back to the birth of workplace drug testing. It was often recited by goofy-looking antidrug "speakers" in an effort to discourage cheating the drug tests. I find it hilarious that theres many of the unwashed who still fall for this piece of propagandical BS.:rolleyes:

    The thing is drug testing devices have no ability to determine pregnancy. They only determine the presence of drugs. The lab would have to use a testing device designed specifically to determine pregnancy. Pregnancy tests are totally outside the scope of drug testing, so therefore, labs operating in the US are prohibited by law to perform pregnancy tests on a urine sample collected for a drug test. Pregnancy tests can only be performed under a detailed written authorization by the donor.

    Why spend money on a book on passing drug tests when all of the information is found online for free?

    The time spent on hawking books could be better utilized on researching how drug tests work and how testing devices work. This information can be found online by making some good use of your favorite search engine (its your freind).

    And its all free :thumbsup:
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2006
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  4. bongomania

    bongomania Banned

    you're absolutely correct that a drug test will not determine pregnancy, but they could check the urine with a pregnancy test. and guess what? they can and do do that if they want to. And you said don't buy a book because all the information is free? Not all this info is valid. Nor or all the answers someone is looking for here. It amazes me how many people think if they read something online it's absolute truth. HA! Burnt toast stop acting like you're a genius and know everything because you don't.
  5. bongomania

    bongomania Banned

    I was trying to make the point that it is not smart to rely on cheating a drug test (which is a felony in some states) when anyone can learn how to rapidly detox very safely by reading a book Passing Drug Tests. But burnttoast thinks all books are a waste of money becasue the internet is LOADED with information on how to rapidly and healthfully detox the body for a random UA... Oh no wait a minute, there is almost nothing to be found about how to use bentonite, cayenne, milk thistle, burdock root, and many other facts that is HILARIOUS to read! Yo burtntoast your parents are absolute failures at raising decent human beings.
  6. bongomania

    bongomania Banned

    I can't find any info on how narangin affects the liver for detoxification. burnt toast says that all needed information is right here on line. Narangin is a chemical found in grapefruit. Come on burntface tell me how it affects the body!!!
  7. Burnt Toast

    Burnt Toast Registered+

    The law says they can't. The regulations are also available online. See them for yourself.
    What makes you think the book your hawking contains valid information? Can you provide some additional sources which can indepenantly corroborate the info contained in that book as valid? Just because that book was written by a set of people with med credos doesnt make it any more credible. Unless theres independant evidence that can support it.
    Its amazing to me of the wonderful facts that can be found online. For example, the regulations set by the Dept of Health & Human Services. And the regulations set by the Dept of Transportation. And once again, its free.
    Is that wonderful? :D

    Jealousy is such a bad thing. :rolleyes:
    Instead of jabbing me, you too can be a "genius" by doing your research. As the old salt goes: Knowledge equals power. Arm yourself with the knowledge of how drug testing works, the regulations and protocols that must be followed by all practicing labs, and most importantly your rights as a donor. Yes, donors facing a pre-employment drug test have rights. Donors can be entitled to civil damages if a lab chooses to violate those rights.

    Knowledge equals power
    Know your rights

    And one more time, the info can be found online by making use of your favorite search engine. And its free.
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2006
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  8. Burnt Toast

    Burnt Toast Registered+

    If you further your research online (instead of flaming which BTW can get you banned), you'll discover that home remedies have no effects on ridding the body of THC.

    And discussion of ingestible "remedies" are off-topic for this thread anyway.
    Last edited: Nov 26, 2006
  9. bongomania

    bongomania Banned

    burntoast says that home remedies have no effect on ridding THC from the body.... ABSOLUTELY INCORRECT. Milk thistle contains silymarin which definitely helps, bentonite is excellent for detoxification, anything with polyphenols will overpower the inhibitors of cannabinol and cannabidiol will certainly help, garlic helps BOTH phases of the body's detoxification system. (hey burnttoast, did you even know the body has two separate phases to detox?) But what do I know, I read books and burnt toast thinks that is no way to get information. I also passed ALL of my random UA's while on parole and I NEVER subsituted or used a fake dick, and I smoked chronic just about every day. I learned how to detox the body naturally and rapidly. I learned from certified dieticians, nutritionists, personal trainers, and a guy who got his PhD magna cum lauda in analytical chemistry, who wrote his thesis paper on drug residues in the body. which all adds up to me knowing nothing because burnt toast says so.:thumbsup:
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  10. Burnt Toast

    Burnt Toast Registered+

    Youre right. That was incorrect - I said "If you further your research online, you'll discover that home remedies have no effects on ridding the body of THC" - in other words, don't take my word for it. See it for yourself thru your research. Big difference.
    Out of respect for the original author of this thread (N2), and for the good of the board, discussions of this nature should happen in another thread pertaining to that matter, as its totally inapplicable to this thread about Substitution
    And I merely stated "Why spend money on a book about passing drug tests when the information can be found online for free?" Of course this concept frustrates you - it frustrates all shills regardless of what theyre trying to hawk. To this I say: "Have some cheese to go with the sour grapes (*FFFT*)". Youre statement merely screams that you have no clue as to what I think.
    Over the course of nearly two decades, I passed all of my UA's for employment (random, post-accident, RFFD, etc) by using variations of the substitution method. And I smoke EVERY day. Theres no better feeling in the world than showing up at the testing facility with a toasty buzz and grinning from ear to ear while you pour that sub'd sample in the collection cup. And walking out of that testing facility, still buzzed, feeling that you got the system by the gonads - all without any fear of getting caught. Because I am very familar as to how drug tests and testing labs work. Once you gain knowledge of the labs modus operandi, substitution can be a walk in the park - with a toasty buzz of course.
    :stoned: :smokin: :Rasta:
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2012
  11. bodine18

    bodine18 Registered

    what temp does it need to be?
  12. Burnt Toast

    Burnt Toast Registered+

    The acceptable temp range is between 90-100 deg for most specimen collections, but check your Chain of Custody form to be sure.
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  13. FakeBoobsRule

    FakeBoobsRule Smackdown Moderation

    Burnt Toast is right and you are wrong. They cannot legally test a urine sample for pregnancy without consent. If they do you will own your employer. There are so many legal reasons why this has been established, mainly all falling under the blanket of protecting women from discrimination. Many bosses are not happy when they find out their female employees are pregnant. Some are old fashioned and this can be a problem with single mothers. What about if they find out before the woman actually finds out? What if she doesn't keep the baby? What if she was cheating on her husband and got pregnant and say he was away on military duty? Lawyers have protected us from having pregnancy tests run on drug testing samples.

    Finally, bongomania you claim to have done all this research on the human body and detox and all this other crap. Your medical knowledge of the human body is quite limited. I shall prove it because you think that if a man submits a pregnant woman's urine for testing and they somehow break several federal laws and do a pregnancy on said sample then he will be busted. Well guess what. If a male submits a pregnant woman's urine and they run a pregnancy test on it, they will think he has prostate cancer and not that he gave a pregnant woman's sample. The same hormones that are elevated during pregnancy are elevated if a male has prostate cancer. Boooyahhhhh!!!!!
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  14. IanCurtisWishlist

    IanCurtisWishlist Registered+


    aren't there like heating pads available? I had the idea of buying substitute urine and then putting it in a condom, stuffing it in my crotch with a heating pad like 30 minutes before the drug test. i basically am giving up on the dilution method because it will never work in my situation. soooo yeah. any ideas?
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  15. pkash

    pkash Registered+

    N2 - I have a question

    Hey, I have to take tests every week for this ADS bullshit, but anyways. I use a bottle with food colering + water and it works, but the only problem is it makes a little noise when I open the bottle. Is there any kind of bottle that wont make noise when I try and open it, and i can just like dump it in the cup. That would really help!
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  16. longgonetx

    longgonetx Registered

    maybe some good tips

    hey guys, im a med tech. yeah im the one who gets to play with pee for a living. fyi whatever company or po or whoever wants to test your urine isn't going to do any other test except the actual drug detection. pregnancy tests, comprehensive urinalysis, urine micro culture etc, are all expensive. real expensive. the whole point of companies drug testing is to cover their collective arses in case something happens at work while one is loaded. they need to show they exhibited due diligence in hiring a responsible employee and they don't want to spend one more penny than is necessary to limit their liability. po's don't have a budget and have no incentive to spend a fortune on extraneous testing. for pot, all these guys want is a marijuana screen test kit that reads negative, that's it. a couple of things that will get you tripped up: 1)as previously noted, have your sample at rm temp. probably the only check on your sample other than the actual test is when the nurse wraps her hand around your sample. if it warm and one is not acting fishy, her job is done. 2)other than that just think normal healthy urine. almost clear to your yellowish colors and no one is the wiser. as med techs we are supposed to smell our urine samples. that step gets skipped a lot for obvious reasons but if you have left your sample in the car all day and it smells like a bacterial culture we might notice and you don't want your sample to be noticed.
    if it looks, feels, and smells like urine it must be urine. ok hope this helps
  17. deadhead65

    deadhead65 Registered+

    I'm hoping someone can help me here. My friend is definitely going to have to sub since no way could he pass a pee test in time. He is getting tested while he has a medical exam. I have read the tips to put the pee in his crotch to keep it warm and all that but I'm just wondering if anyone has ANY idea how the heck he can get away with this when it's also gonna be a medical exam where they'll most likely make him drop trou, hold his balls and have him cough.

    Anyone have experience with this? Do they have you pee first, then do the exam 'cause that is the only way I can see him passing this thing.:wtf4:
  18. chantoke

    chantoke Banned

    just to comment on this--both human and synthetic urine are usually sterile when they come out. after about 8 hours though, bacteria can metabolize some of your waste products to create essentially a "fermented" cup.
  19. chantoke

    chantoke Banned

    it's not prostate cancer, it's in certain subtypes of testicular cancer--embryonal and choriocarcinoma in particular. but drug techs aren't stupid. they would definitely ask you if you had substituted someone else's urine for your own. and if you deny it, you might have to deal with a doctor wanting to get an mri of your pelvis because of a suspicious lab test.

    but bottom line is i agree with longonetx--they wouldn't run the test because it is an extra cost that wasn't ordered (ie your insurance or the hospital wouldn't pay for it). also the company is violating HIPPA rights if they do this and could be sued or even have their testing privileges suspended or revoked.
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2007
  20. pkash

    pkash Registered+

    I was wondering if there is anything else to use to substitute in because bottles, you have to like un screw it and i get monitered, i want something that I can just like flip off or something, anyone have any good ideas?
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